fragments

2011-01-21T21:07:00.000+08:00

Don't think there's anybody who still read this blog, so I guess it's ok to write about my emotional shits here. Hahahaha. So... Life sucks very much atm. Because i'm single now... Well, I still can't accept the fact. Really really can't.. Not that simple.. Like.. it's not like i tell myself "oh im single", then i really believe i'm single. No.. doesnt work like that. i refuse to tell myself i'm single.. Because it's the last thing i ever wanted to happen to me.. And.. something changed. in the past, i used to be the "favorite girlfriend" among his group of friends. Cos i'm not fucked up + i help people etc etc. (no this is not self praise), but obviously someone took over this position of mine.. Yes she's attached to another guy (not my ex bf) but still, nobody really cares about me anymore. Nobody come to me for help, they probably go to her because she's more awesome than I am.. I don't really know what went wrong in my r/s, just know that we drifted and we stopped communicating as well.. it ended just like that, yea.. Can't stop thinking about spending CNY and Vday (omg suckiest part ever) without a boyfriend. i mean... Hey it's valentine's day i dont have a valentine i have no life lol... Almost every girl I know has a boyfriend. (95% -.-) and i'm the only one single.. sucks. Even the blog i read.. mostly female bloggers, they are ALL happily attached lol.. Ahhhh just wanna rant..

2010-11-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

My favourite pictureSS. Lol, the rest I looked like shit. Ahhh this is bad, getting uglier and uglier and fatter and fatter.. Anyway. Celebrated Jingheng's birthday on wednesday night at Dean's place. Watched 2 movies that night and went to sleep while the rest went out to eat. Blah blah blah the next day we went to teoheng to sing and I must admit it was much better than singing with my family. Lalala I hate being with my family all of a sudden. Oh I was saying... Um the rest went for dinner while I went home to sleep.

Woke up around 12 today. So I slept for 15 hours and when I woke up I was having a very terrible headache. Nua at home till 4+ went to find my darling~ Had dinner with his family at roxy square. There were 8 of us! Hehehe his parents + his 2 brothers and their girlfriends.. Though I didn't talk much but it was nice being with his family, so much better than mine.. Hahahaha. His big bro sent me home after that :)

Hmm... I'm working with 4 of my friends this coming wednesday~ Just a 3 hour job hahaha. Kay very bored right now. Don't think I'll be going out for the next few days. Bf found a job at popular so I guess we won't have much time together so...probably I'll go to his place more frequently or smth.. Better than staying at home. Ahhh gonna find some things to do now and go to bed early~

TATA

brand new

2010-11-13T01:40:00.000+08:00

No more o levels for me! :D
And honestly I'm very glad I didnt waste my time studying for chemistry paper 1 yesterday night. I slept from 7+ pm till 6.30 am, bathed and went to school for the exam. No wait, I studied for 10 minutes after I bathed. But the paper was kind of easy to me.. So I guess that 10 minutes wouldnt make a difference. Chem paper this year is very weird. Not much of mole concept/QA.

Anyway! Going to sentosa tomorrow with all(hopefully!) my friends! Very very excited you know! It's been almost a year since I went to sentosa.. Lol! But we're meeting in the morning so I guess I'll have to sleep earlier tonight! Hope I don't oversleep hehehe. And.. On sunday I'll be heading over to malaysia with my family. Will be back on thursday morning! Gonna miss my daaarrrrlinggg and all my friends :( It better be a good trip. Hehe.

Hmm.. Oh ya, my cousin gave my family a treat to seoul garden this evening. I was damn full after the dinner. Like duh? I had 2 plates of pasta lor. And not forgetting my jelly jelly!! I had 2 bowls of it also.. Yummy yummy ^^ walked around tm afterthat. Mum activated our auto-roaming too. Um kind of redundant because I won't have the guts to walk around on my own.. So yeah.

Okay.. So I'm waiting for my phone to be charged, then I'll transfer more songs to my itouch. Been addicted to high noon recently because I no longer get heart attacks while playing it. Won't feel very nervous also. Hahaha yay. In the past I don't even dare to challenge other people.. Currently level 10!! Hehe :D

A few pictures taken on xiaopang's birthday :)

2010-10-21T00:36:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, kind of lazy to talk about what happened today! Hahahaha. Basically it's the 4E5N graduation ceremony. I always thought I'll cry, but to be honest, I felt NOTHING at all. And I'm actually glad, because that shows that I am turning a little bit more heartless. I hate being soft-hearted. But I actually felt like crying while I was editing the pictures :O

ANYWAY. Went around the school to take pictures with my friends and my favourite teachers. Quite fun actually.. Hahahaha. Will keep those pictures properly!!! Okay nothing much to say liaooozzz.

2010-10-10T21:38:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA collected enough dust for this space already.

Okay. Where should I start? My life is pretty okay now.. Except that I'm really stressed out by o levels, kind of...? I don't even have the rights to be proud of my chemistry results already. This is very bad. Anyway.. So I cried on friday because I was really upset over some things. And this bitch had to tap my shoulder and talk to me. Which means that she is aware that I am crying!! Wtf. I must be happier than her!! Oh I was saying... Ah! Was trying very hard to avoid eye contacts with others because I really dont want too many people to know I was crying. Guess what! Mrs Mani caught me :( So she talked to me.... And of course I kind of told her how I was feeling lah. Then she talked to Bf and Junkiat afterthat. And then I felt better! A whole lot better. She asked me not to cry anymore if not she'll slap me LOL. So.. Yeah I'll not cry anymore! Cos I need to be strong! Cant appear to be someone vulnerable and weak infront of others!!

Had tuition ytd with Bean :) hehe went to meet the friends at 201 afterthat. Had our dinner together ~ was chatting about some people also. I love them because I can tell them anything I'm unhappy about with anyone. I mean like, they won't say things like "wth like that only!!" or whatsoever lah. Okay sometimes they will. But most of the time it's either they'll agree with me or they'll add fire to everything HAHAHA I like I like!

And for today, had tuition with Juexin~ :) I did a physics paper that was upon 46. I scored 25!! Um not a very good mark but I passed. It's not easy for me to get a 30% but this time I did it! 52%!! Hehehe so proud of myself. Met my bff Irene Kammy after tuition. Also had fun listening to all her stories hahaha~ She got me the reese chocolate also! Best.

Tomorrow's monday~ Which means there'll be 5 days of coaching + night study/tuition..

Some random pictures I took using my phone hehe :)

The sweets and keychain bf's "godma" gave me :D

Xiaopang! Hahahaha~

Wearing my new t shirt yesterday HAHAHA

movies i've yet to watch~

2010-09-18T11:29:00.000+08:00

Hehehehe just downloaded a few movies on funshion!
Afterlife, sex & the city 2 and letters to juliet. Was damn happy when
I saw afterlife HAHAHAHA. Yay don't need to go to the cinema to watch~

it's not working

2010-09-17T20:28:00.003+08:00

Aloha loyang! I miss the days at bintan! :(

Anyway, 3 more papers to go, but it seems like prelims are already over! Hahahaha.

Had lunch with bf after school. Hehehe and guess what? One packet of rice cost $5 because of the fishhh.

Went to his place and I slept for 4 hours! Hahahaha shiok or what. Tuition afterthat.

Bought chicken rice and cabbed home. Hehe no wonder my money always finish so fast!! :(

Okay I just threw up my chicken rice thanks to some sluts! Kidding.

I don't understand someee people leh. For me, if I know I'm wearing a top that will expose my bra strap,

I'll definitely remove it lor.. I mean, strapless is of course better than 'full of straps' la seriously? Hmm..

I was actually quite ashamed of myself for crying over my physics paper. Hahaha wanted to keep it a secret.

But idk why a few teachers already know about it -.- Super paiseh when some teachers came to ask me

things like whether I can do the chem paper today.. And asked me not to be sad.. So I don't care already!!
Oh ya.. The reason why I cried - I'm too stupid! Seriousss. I cried during the exam and after the exam :(

I left 40 marks blank lor.. And somemore hor! Bf said the paper was SUPER easy. Wth why so big

difference?! Nevermind forget it! But I really don't believe I am that weak in physics. I really don't believe!!

Hehe me and bf's anniversary is next thursday! Hopefully nothing goes wrong ~

Very long since we went out together thanks to the exams..

2010-09-05T12:19:00.000+08:00

Hehehe like I said, life is great AT THE MOMENT!
Although I'm quite reluctant to admit because everytime I know my life is
awesome, the next moment my life is fucked up. LOL LIKE SERIOUSLY :(

2010-09-03T08:30:00.001+08:00

Hehe. I'm very happy with my life now. Friends + boyfriend + family = happiness :)
My mum has been treating me really good. And she's also very lenient with me. I have the best mum
ever lor. Mum allows me to have a bf, doesn't stress me when it comes to studies, allow
me to go out and have fun almost every night. Hehe~ though it's not those 'don't need come home'
type but still. Hehehe at least I have the freedom to enjoy myself ma :)

My relationship is getting back on track, like finally. Hahaha. It's funny how teachers in
my school can be quite kpo when it comes to my studies. I wouldn't say they're concerned lah. What?
Which teacher in the right mind will encourage their students to get into a r/s at this age right.
Ok as I was saying.. Have been really down for the past few weeks. As if I lost another part of me.
It's amazing how someone can cause such a great impact in my life. Haiya, consequences of being so
dependent. But what to do? Been like this ever since I was born!! Some sort of natural thingy.. :(

So.. It's only about 50 days to o levels. I just woke up from my dreamland ytd afternoon. Hmm I'm
quite sure it's a tad too late. But! Better be late than never ma ^^ hehe. Hope I'll be as motivated
as ytd night for the next 50 days. It's really the last lap already. Don't chiong now, when?! Hehe~

Hopefully, nothing happens between me and bf for the next 50 days. Hehe~
My friendships... Also not bad lah :) been hanging out with them more often. But I'm getting quite
busy already. Will be going to wild wild wet with them tmr evening. Heh~ so excited!!

Celebrated dean's birthday last tuesday. Awesome night lor!! Enjoyed myself hehehe~

Okayyyy I'm actually blogging using my phone, in the classroom. No teacher :p
Hehehe okay ciaossss it's the september holidays!! Time to study really really hard!

:)

Everybody's changing

2010-08-26T15:31:00.006+08:00

I MISS MY OLD HAIR COLOUR HAHAHAHA.

Okay I found a lot of old pictures in my computer.. Memories. Haha.

It's sad to see everybody changing. Yeah I know it's inevitable. But still.

I myself changed as well. Haha. I've changed my friends for many times.

But one thing is I'm glad that Irene is always with me. We've been friends for

so many years. She's always there to entertain me and gossip with me.. Hee.

Have been really down for the past few weeks. Really wanna thank all my friends who cared for me and try their best to make me laugh! It's awesome to spend time with all of you because I'll always laugh till my stomach hurts.

ANYWAY.

Skipped school again because I overslept. I overslept because I slept at 5 am.

I slept at 5 am because I went to Dean's house with Irene Axl And Yongren ytd night.

We went to Dean's house because the guys wanted to chiong their DNT.

Irene wanted to sketch. And I didn't want to stay at home and be emo nemo.

The guys wanted to chiong their DNT because their dateline is this friday.

See? Everything happens for a reason! LOL

Okay so.. It's 3 pm! Yet to do a single work. I really really seriously give up studying. What for study so bloody hard when in the end we'll all die?! I don't understand man. Imagine having a world, where everybody don't have to work/study. All they do is play, shop, club, sex!? What's the purpose of having a life when eventually our life will end? I seriously dont get it. Why must there be rewards and punishment? Why must there we rankings and promotions? Why must there be favouritism and discrimination? When in the end, everything will be gone?! It's no point. Might as well you relax everyday and wait for your turn to die? At least you're living life to the fullest. You can have fun with your family and friends when you don't spend your time studying/working.

Okay again, abrupt ending!!!!! HAHAHAHA OKAY BYE EVERYBODY~

2010-08-25T21:59:00.000+08:00

Skipped school today because I was in a really bad mood.
Went to meet the friendsy for lunch. Brought my laptop along :)
Sat at the coffeeshop with Irene and Yonglong for hoursss!~

7-11 > Library > Juexin's house > Tuition > Home

Bumped into feifei and darryl on the bus to Jx's house and their words
got me thinking for a long time. Why should I even bother in the first place!?!
Damn them laaa lol~ Just kidding! Hahaha. Okay~ This is boring.

2010-08-24T08:48:00.001+08:00

Currently in school.. Using my phone to blog now. Well.. I want to be happy. I mean, who doesn't, right? We live to be happy. We exist so we know how awesome being happy is. But why is it that people get sad more often than they should be? We get upset when we receive comments about ourself. We get upset when the people around us hurt us so deeply when they promised us they wouldn't. We get upset when we don't achiece what we want. We get upset wheen everything and everyone seems to be going against you.

So.. When can we be happy? When will we ever be happy? People try to stay as positive as they can. To be as optimistic as possible. But they still get hurt. Then they stopped trying. They stopped looking forward to anything. Because it doesn't help at all.

Very very abrupt ending I don't wanna be in school anymore..
It sucks seeing -

2010-08-20T15:00:00.003+08:00

HEHEHEHEHE
IRENEMEOW AND THEBOYWHOSMILES BESIDE ME NOW HAHA

2010-08-19T23:48:00.002+08:00

My life is in a mess right now..

I don't know how to pick up the pieces and move on with my life..
From young, I've been someone who is very dependent on the people around me.
And right now, I feel as if I lost someone that I love, trust and rely on the most.
I feel so fucking lost. I've never felt this way before. I've never felt
so hopeless towards my life before. I don't know what to do.. I don't know who
to talk to.. All I want is you. I want to talk to you. I want to spend time with you.
I want the old you. I want the old us. I want us to be happy again. Why did you have
to change? Why? I don't know who are you. I don't understand you anymore. Have you
forgotten all the things you said to me when we just got together? Can you bear to
just let everything fall apart, after all the thick and thin we've gone through?
Why aren't you doing anything to salvage our relationship? Why am I the only one
getting hurt? Why can you still be so happy without me in your life? Why? Have you
forgotten about us? Have you forgotten about our first date? Don't you ever think
about them? Don't you ever want to go back to the past again? When will this ever end?

2010-08-18T21:09:00.000+08:00

Hmmm using my phone to blog now. Hope it works haha.

Okayyy firstly I cannot believe I overslept again this morning.. Damn sad laaa. I was supposed to wake up around 12.30 ytd night. But I woke up at 8.45 this morning! Damn pig can?! Seriously. When I woke up it was super bright so I jumped up and shouted fuck LOL. Was intending to skip school but I realised I had oral today.. So bo bian quickly went to prepare and asked my dad to send me to school~ while preparing dean and brenna messaged me telling me I scored an A1!! I was still quite lost at first. Hahaha!! A bit unexpecteed la. Haha. Ok reached school, write down name, gave excuses and chiong to the hall. Heh.

-boring lesson time-
Oh ya my mum was super duper cute. Wahaha that's why her daughter is cute.

Had my english oral afterthat.. It was okay. Haha ok I got nothing to comment about the oral. No point thinking about it also. Positive right me? Cheh LOL. Waited for the king lwk to finish his football game (psp). But in the end he didn't follow us(me and nat) to tm!! Sooo me and nat went to have our.. Early dinner? At mos burger.. Hee. Yummy yummy. Went to buy the yog tickets afterthat. Wah seriously damn pissed off. All the tickets for the events were sold out lorrr seriously. Sob sob. In the end we bought the tickets for girls football LOL.. -jiao- hahaha.

Went to find dean for awhile before going home~

I miss you.

2010-08-10T23:38:00.003+08:00

HAPPY ME

Went to play badminton with DLYQ AXL XP YONGREN AND YL in the afternoon. Super last minute decision. Haha! Played till I was seriously super duper wet. Sounds damn wrong HAHAHA. Oh and I was wearing my new NF shorts. And 3 guys walked past and called me XIAO LIAN. LOL seriously damn lame wear short shorts mean xiao lian ah.. :(

Went to eat subway afterthat!!! "Make it a footlong meal" LOL hehehe~
Yr and DL accompanied me to bedok!!! Damn nice lah they 2.. we waited for 1 hour =.=
While waiting the 2 guys came up with damn lame riddles according to the singapore map~!!

So.. Collected my contact lenses and we headed home to bathe and change~ Went to kfc afterthat. Wk and Weilun was already there~ Had a nice "studying session"with them.. HAHAHA Went to eat prata for supper because kfc was closed!!!!! Awww.. Cabbed home afterthat.

Argh there's school tmr... :(

Home

2010-08-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt so exhausted, so wearied, not physically, but emotionally and mentally? Wherever you go, you just feel like breaking down, you just want to cry and cry, like there isn't a tomorrow, and you want to.. Die. You're tired of how complicated the world is. You're tired of placing your loved ones as your priority, but in the end, you realise you're just an option to them. You're upset, you're hurt, and people just have to add salt to your wounds. You can't stop crying, you're dying inside. You need a hug, you need a pat on your back, but you don't get it, because things are not going your way.

You're trying really, really really hard to put things back in place again. But you know it's impossible to be working alone. You need a helping hand, you look for the one you love the most. But you end up getting hurt again, because he isn't interested in fixing things, he isn't interested in being your another hand, so both of you can have a pair of hands together, to clap. You're tired.. You gave up.

-

You walk and walk and walk, and you cry and cry and cry..

Define happiness

2010-08-08T22:48:00.003+08:00

"What makes you happy?"
Every single day, I ask myself this question.
But honestly, I really can't answer that question.

What does being happy means to you?
Having a boyfriend? Having tons of friends?
Having a school to study in? Being physically-abled?
Studying/shopping/eating/sleeping?

They say we are the director of our own life. And our friends and family - the casts. We direct our own life. But how is it possible to have a life, where you do just everything you want to, without hurting the people around you? Is it even possible to make your own decisions? I'm talking about all the time. For every single thing. Definetely not. More often than not, you have to be careful with the words you speak, you have to be careful with the things you do, you have to consider the feelings of others. Then how on earth can you even direct your own life when you don't have full control of it?

2010-08-02T22:09:00.002+08:00

I don't know whether I shld be happy or not! How shld I say leh.. It's been a very very
happening day today. First, I went to school as usual, except with shorter fringe. I received
a lot of compliments telling me I look so much prettier with my fringe down + my eyes are
bigger! Hahaha I was really happy, because I've never felt so. Hmm how to say! I've never
ever received so many compliments in a day! It's just... I don't know. Haha! But it sure made my day.

Then... Was chatting with my classmates (Nat and company) about HK drama and I never know
all of them are so into hk drama as well! Hmm what else. Ohhh and my chemistry test! 80/100 :D

And.. Went to 201's night market with darling zhuzhu fei and batam. Hee.. Bought fishball
and chiong to meet my parents. And tadah!! I got my phone phone :D Decided with black since
it looks more stylo milo. Bro got himself a mac book so I'm currently using his laptop! Yay~

Everything seems to fall into place perfectly today lor.. Hehehe except a few things that totally
affected my mood. But... Oh well, got to be contented already right?

Anyway!!! 4 tests coming up tmr. yet to study all of them and it's already 10+!!
Okay gtg have a niceeee week :D

Currently listening to

2010-08-01T18:53:00.002+08:00

VERY NICE CAN? CAN~~~~

2010-07-25T23:05:00.003+08:00

Last.. Sunday I think. Was at this hotel in shenton way to celebrate my grandma's birthday.
Can't remember anything except that I feel very skinny that day. And almost everybody
is telling me I'm so tall. And that I don't need the heels.. Same old thing every gathering.

Yesterday~~
Awesome saturday! :D

Had breakfast with mum and bro @ bedok. Bumped into Axl afterthat so we walked around
to kill time. Hee. I went off for tuition afterthat while he went home~

Headed home after tuition and was rushing like crazy.
Need to help mum with the food need to bathe need to prepare blah blah.

Lazy to go into details but I definitely enjoyed myself.
I get to watch the boys play basketball, I get to eat, I get to walk around,
I get to play 5-10 and drink some beer, I get to take some pictures, I get to
talk, I get to whatever lah! It don't sound really interesting here. LOL

Okay anyway... Um around 11+ don't know who suggested we go katong to play lan..
So me feifei xw headed to darling's place with the trolley. HAHA. Had a quick
shower and we cabbed down to katong. Enjoyed myself there as well. Esp the CS match
between the boys at the end.. My toes almost got run over by this motor but
luckily CY/Batam saved my life. Still can't figure out who saved me lol~

Errrr afterthat we walked to ecp for IDK what!! It was super dark at that time..
Stayed at mac for a little while then me fei xw and darling cabbed back to tamp.
They went to eat while I headed home to sleep. It was around 7 am by then.. Seriously.
Dropped dead and guess what!! I woke up at 1.30 this afternoon. 6 hours of sleep only!!

Okay gonna sleep real soon. My dark circles is getting very (insert adjectives for jialat)!~~

just a little attention

2010-07-23T23:39:00.004+08:00

My friends that will always be there for me.. Hee :)
Thanks for today.. Love you all. Hehehe. Had lunch with Axl Yl & Irene this afternoon.
Free shampoo! ^^ Went back to school to study with Axl at the library, whle waiting for YL.
Axl fell asleep! Rushed home and took a short nap. Prepared and headed to giant to meet the Wenkai Darling & Fei.

We went to buy the food for tmr and we spent $140 on everything! I enjoyed myself there.
Haha. We spent like 3 hours over there.. From 6+ to 9+ Seriously I'm quite excited about tmr. Must eat until I explode!

We stole the whole trolley and started walking towards my place.
But we were too tired so darling's parents came to fetch us. His parents very cool leh.
If it's mine, they'll definitely nag at us for stealing the trolley.. Oh ya we put the whole trolley on their car!! *JOKE* =P
Stayed at his place to chop the chicken and all of them scolded me for holding the knife the wrong way.
Wah I got scolded many times because I was too gullible. And stupid..
See, now I am 1) Direction idiot 2) Nutshell in their eyes.

Mum came to fetch me and I went home happily. Hehehe~

Tmr's plan~!

Morning: Go to bedok with mum for breakfast!
Afternoon: Tuition from 2-4 pm
Evening: Rush home, bathe, bbq! :D

Shall stay there till everybody goes home. Hehehehe woo~

Started on THE LAST SONG already! So happy.
Okay, good night everybody!

Awesome saturday

2010-07-18T09:59:00.002+08:00

Hee I really had a very awesome saturday.

Mum bought breakfast for me - kway chup. Supaaaa nice, was super full after eating a few mouths. And I was late for tuition because of the breakfast! K anyway, brought my new bag out heehee. Ended tuition at 4, and went to bedok to meet Axl Chinny! For only a little while.. Heh.

Went to meet the boys (Darling Feifei Batam Jinglong) afterthat~
Ok then initial plan was to go ECP, so I took bus 31. And the boys called me and told me there's a change of plan. We're going to kallang! So I was like, wahhh how to go. Quickly alight and took bus 16. Guess what?!?! I think the road is closed ytd, cos of the rehearsal, so I got lost and I alighted at geylang :(((( LOL no lah. Geylang lor 1 is very close to kallang mrt, so I walked there, empty my bladder and took the circle line to stadium~ (I was a direction idiot to them by then..)

Okay when I reached there, I couldn't find them! But they were just behind me.. Lol. OKAY then we went to nihon mura to check it out~ TADAH, I dont know what happened. "wé're going to ecp!!!" Oh mrs chua said she saw us. Hehehe. We cabbed to ECP leh! Wasted $27 for both taxi :( By then it was already 7+ lor.. All very hungry oready!! Each of us paid 10 so we had 50 to use!! And we finish the whole $50 by ordering stingray, sotong, lala, kangkong and chicken wings. Heehee~ oh we ordered 10 bowls of rice! So each person 2 bowls. Wah fat liao..

K walked all the way to victoria school. 1) to the bus stop 2) digest!! Indra parted with us and the rest of us went to bedok. Jinglong went home, while feifei and darling sent me home. Hehehe :)

New life

2010-07-11T21:58:00.005+08:00

Hello wello cello yello~

My weekend was ummm quite busy and I didn't have the time to touch my homework.
Which is actually quite sad because o levels is about 100 days away~
Yet to decide between poly and JC. But I didn't apply for DPA because aku no cca.. :(

Okay anyway, just came home not long ago. Went out with Brenna to get some stuffs and guess what!!
I spent $50 (cash..) within that few hours. Argh need to start saving up again!

Went home to rest for only an hour and went out to meet MIAOMIAO for dinner.
Love going out with her. Hahaha! Oh ya I just rmbr that I need to check out this J girl on facebook.
I bought my school shoes from cotton on (who cares if it's typical LOL. Same shoes as miao. Heh) and a black bag.
Woo~ another $30 gone lol! Okay no more spending money. Mum asked me to stop shopping online already :(

Ate pontian wanton noodles for dinner. Walk walk around and went home!! Hehe.

Will be watching tonight's final together with miaomiao.
Provided that both of us can wake up at 2.30 HAHA.
I'm supporting spain while she's with Holland.
Our bet is one cup of bubbletea.. Lol! Heh.

Okay might be wearing spects to school tomorrow.

Come on everybody start criticising me ok!!! I am gonna EMBRACE CRITICISM. HAHAHA.
I am going to start a new life. From tmr onwards! Woo hoo hoo woo~

1) Exercise every single day! With the bestfriend :D
( you cannot run away liao HEHEHEHE )
2) Be super duper uber cheerful. Smile and laugh all day~
3) Study study study! GO GO GO.
4) Accept critics from anybody and not get affected!
5) Have moreeee confidence in myself!

Yeah that's about it. I believe that will make me more um... lovable. Lol!
And of course I'll be happier :D:D:D:D:D WOOO NEW LIFE SAY HELLO TO THE NEW MEEEE.

Friday Night

2010-07-10T22:51:00.002+08:00

I had a very wonderful (ya right) friday. HAHAHAHA.
Wouldnt say it was perfect, but.. Yeah it was a better day compared to the past few weeks. Firstly, there was this breakfast day thingy in school. And our breakfast was Nat's birthday cake and chicken burger. Um can't really remember what happened. Went home after school. And secondly, I was going to catch F.I.R's concert with darling that night :)

Seriously I had to keep supressing my excitement cos I was damn afraid that something will go wrong. Hahaha. I took a very long time to decide what to wear!! I think I changed like 10+ clothes lor.. Cannot be too formal cannot be too casual.. Settled with a white dress at first, but I realised that I didn't have any suitable bag to go with my dress. *stress* Wore my new top and a black skirt instead.

Cabbed to darling's place cos it was super hot. The weather.. Omg can cry. Waited for him to prepare. And he was as fickle-minded as I am. Lol! Went out around 5+ and we had our dinner at Pastamania! Hee. Went to walk around the Hokkaido fair and we bought this thingy that was very nice. Yeah thingy!! Took the circle line to stadium afterthat.. Hee.

Ohhh wait. Something very funny happened on the train. Darling was telling me how SPECIAL his shoe is. So I was thinking, hmmm yeah true I've never seen anybody wearing the same pair of shoes as him before (plus I chose the pair of shoes for him k ;p).. Then we continued talking about other things and then suddenly, we realised that the guy beside me has the exact same shoe as his!! Same brand same colour.. LOL OK it's damn funny at that point of time. Both of us burst out laughing. HAHAHA.

Okay so basically the concert wasn't that bad.. Stephanie Sun was there as well! Heh. Then when F.I.R went down to idk where(ending), everybody shouted ENCORE ENCORE and they really came out and sang the last 3 songs. Just nice all 3 my favourite. Hehehe~

Reached home around 1 and I was damnnnn sleepy. Fell asleep almost immediately the moment I lie on my bed. Shiok~ Hehehehe. So yup, that marks the end of my Friday! Hee.

MY NEW SPECTS..... :(
Super not used to it. I feel like vomiting right now. Super giddy!!

2010-07-04T09:47:00.004+08:00

Something very stupid happened last night.. I was doing my work, and I felt quite sleepy so I decided to take a 30 minute nap, and y'know.. Naps at night will usually become sleep till next morning. So yeah that happened to me. I woke up at 4.40 am and realised that I didn't wake up ytd night. So I msged darling to apologise to him that I overslept, and guess what? He called me.. Lol. He was watching toy story 3 so we chatted on the phone a little while.. And then we went back to sleep. Ok it's not very funny. But like damn lame lor.. Okay whatever!

This is me yesterday night.. After having dinner with mum.

And me right now!!! With all the tidbits(excluding my chicken biscuits) I bought ytd!

Ohhh anyway watched "I love you, Beth Cooper" ytd night, and honestly I don't like that show! Kind of wasted my time lor. Okay I just ate a box of pocky (milk) and I feel like eating somemore.. Ohhh there's jelly and magnum ice cream in my fridge! Ohhh there's pizza as well! Hehehehe won't feel hungry anymore~

So.. I'm still thinking about what I can do today lor. So bored!!
Okay bye.. Good morning! HEHEHEH.

We're beautiful

2010-07-02T19:03:00.006+08:00

I did a self evaluation just now. When I was bathing. Eh I think it's true that one goes through a lot of thinking when they're showering. Hor hor? Hahaha. Ya anyway, I started thinking about myself.

--> EXTREMELY undecisive and fickled-minded. I had a very hard time choosing ash or brown flooring on mall world. I was like, wah fucking pissed off because I couldn't decide which colour to choose. And some other personal reasons which I wouldn't want to mention here.. Yawns and I really hate this bad habit. It sucks to "don't know how to make decisions" lor..

There are different kinds of clothings, stationaries, food, cars, houses, tuition centres, shoes, bags, sunglasses, accessories, hairstyles whatsoever! And everything and everyone is different in their own way, and beautiful in their own way. I told myself this and it sort of solved my problem! And I am a happy girl, again! :)

--> Emotional.. Yeah if you know me you should know I am very very emotional. But recently I have been living my life with a different mindset, and I feel lighter! Haha as in not physically. I am no longer that stressed up with my life, and of course I am much more happier. And I love the way I am now. And I have 2 different personality in school! Quiet and anti-social during lesson time, but friendly and cheerful during recess/lunch breaks/after school! Heh. I don't know why but it's just very natural!

And good news, I haven't been cyring for days already! That's something worth celebrating ok?! Heh.

I want to be a saint, an angel, someone who is selfless, someone who is close to perfection though it is impossible to be perfect. I just want to be someone who doesn't have any motives for doing certain things, someone who is willing to share.. :)

ANYWAY! It's friday! Heh, and I overslept today morning! But luckily I managed to reach school before 7.25 I am one lucky bird okay! Wahaha. Ate my lunch at pizza hut together with Natalie (farting girl ok just kidding! HAHA), Farahfilza and Ang kukueh after school! No not after school.. Around 2+ There was a birthday girl so everyone in pizza hut sang a birthday song for her. She stood on the chair! So fun lah! *jealous* Went shopping around tm and cs and I got a top from mango! Plus 2 home shorts from cotton on, heh the typical shorts! Oh and me and minhui bought the same pencil case. It's pink in colour and it's fluffy! And it cost only $4 HAHAHA. Super cute okay!! Happy bird is me. Bought mos burger and went home around evening time.

Well spent right! Though it wasn't spent on books and notes, I am very happy! Hehehe.

My new pencil case below!! :D:D:D:D

2010-06-28T17:45:00.002+08:00

Hehehehehe was browsing through my facebook pictures.

I want to go out and stay till late at night and take lots of pictures! NO, to be specific, group photos! :(
It's study time since the school holidays have ended. Sighs. Tuition, remedials.. Argh argh.

You see that stripe shirt guy? I lost like $10++ to him during CNY.
I don't even know him lor. Walao damn sad.

the cutie pie

2010-06-27T17:22:00.015+08:00

Saw this from TLS. Heh.

I shall treat everyone with love, even those who are rude to me.
Not because they are not nice, but because I am nice!

I think I shld go to school like this tomorrow lor.. So neat.
But that means I'll be showing everyone my super imperfect complexion xP
Bwahaha. But I will definitely clear spot check. Speaking about that..
I've yet to clean and cut my nails! Boohoo. I am so sad!

(look at my mouth wahaha)

school school school

2010-06-27T15:31:00.008+08:00

Aloha loyang! HAHA

Okay school is starting in like um.. A few hours!? So not prepared! Don't know how I should tie my hair. And I think I'll go back to Miss Fatty with school uniform! Did I mention I was 47 kg on Thursday?! Omg if only I weighed 47 everyday. Argh anyway I am sooo addicted to Baking Life again! I wonder what am I going to do when school starts. Because I told myself, once July starts, it's STUDY TIME! I've wasted my whole of June and I love it! Wahahaha. Argh you know what makes me happy? Seeing my baking life level up. HAHA.

OK I should be chionging my TYS now. But I am not! Because I don't give 2 hoots about whether I complete it or not! Not like I would get a scolding from Mdm Rozi! Even if I do, it doesn't matter la walao. Okay.. So I've not thought of what to bring to school.. And I think I shall wake up at 6, wash and blow my hair, try to look skinny with school u, think of hairstyle and go to school with a longggg face.

One thing I worry about when school reopens is my relationship with bf. We're definitely going to be sooo busy staying back, tuition, studying, and we won't have much time hanging out together.. :(

Anyway. Had a very awesome evening/night with him ytd.. Hee. Bought stationaries and headed to his place. His family was having this bbq thingy for dinner! I was too shy to go outside and eat so I stayed in the house and watch tv with his popo while he brought food in for me! Hee. Like princess hor?! Yay. He left me alone in the house with his aunts and popo for about 30 minutes while he went to IDK where! We watched AI together. HAHA I love that show k. Then he came back!! Finally. Waited for him to dilly dally and bathe and we went to tm. By the time we reach tm it was already NINE so I couldn't buy yam puffs and curry puffs for my mum!! Damn sad. Bought milk tea from mos burger and walked to S11 to buy his water, then he accompanied me to wait for my bus. Hehehehe enjoyed that few minutes very much! Went home alone afterthat and I couldn't stop smiling. HAHAHAHA.

OMG I JUST ADOPTED THE LABRADOR RETRIEVER IN BAKING LIFE YAY I HAVE 3 DOGS NOW ^^

Okay.. So I skipped lunch today because I have no idea what to eat. And amazingly I don't feel hungry at all.. Argh I am soooo bored. Supervising my baking life and bloghopping and waiting for mr bf's reply. Yawns.

I must sleep at 10 and look forward to school tomorrow!!!
SCHOOL IS SOOOO DAMN FUN OK? HAHAHAHA.

I got one of my friend back. I am left with one more :)

Walao damn sad. I'm only level 14 while bf is level 26. Not fair lor..
There was a period of time when I stopped playing baking life!!
Damn regret. If not I should be around.. level 20. HAHAHAHA

I just realised that I didn't go shopping at all for this whole holiday. But I bought 6 items online. Walao. Like damn pathetic. Okay.. Cries a river. I'm waiting for this purse I bought online currently. I HATE waiting for stuffs bought online. It's like damn sian. I got no patience lah! But bo bian.. HAHAHAHA OKAY I AM FUCKING BORED RIGHT NOW LOR. FEEL LIKE DRINKING COKE BUT SUPER LAZY GO TAKE. My brother bought 2 1.5 L bottles of coke ytd. Yeaaaahh happy me~ Okayy I shall continue my game and be a gamer. Like real~

2010-06-22T13:57:00.002+08:00

What's with all the romance movies eh?
But I've run out of movies to watch, already. Argh...

good for nothing

2010-06-20T22:01:00.005+08:00

Last night..

Watched these 2 movies this afternoon and I swear it was awesome.

Ahhhh.. I really hate the current life I'm leading now. I swear, it sucks to the apple core. I've never ever felt thisssss depressed and alone before. And, for the longest time ever as well. Usually it'd just take a few days for me to become happy again. But this time. My god.. And it's definitely not a good feeling. Knowing you only have yourself, and you got nobody, no fucking body to talk to.. Wow. Everything is going haywired. Most imptly my studies. I haven't been studying for god knows how long. Mum comes into my room almost everyday and ask me why am I not studying. And she reminds me that I better not cry and regret on the day I receive my results. Ah. Sucks. I've been stuck on the net for like what, weeks.. Months? Blogshopping almost everyday, even though I wouldn't have the chance to wear those clothes. Buy for the sake of buying.. But I've quit facebook. No more baking life and mall world. Just mood weather report. HAHA. Haven't been socializing as well.. Sighs..

And I don't know how to describe how I am feeling anymore. Hmm. Sad, depressed, lonely, exhausted, terrified.. Regret, guilt.. Whatever, but happiness just don't belong to me. But I don't cry anymore. Just a little bit of tears here and there. Maybe I'm used to it. Used to being sad, used to being the outcast, used to being the anti-social one, used to being the ugly one.

Oh and today sucks as well.. Asked bf if I could go to his place, because I didn't want to stay at home. He said ok, and IMMEDIATELY, I went to wash my face, comb my hair, and changed into my purple adidas top. But the minute I looked into my mini mirror on my table, I changed my mind. I decided to stay at home. Because I thought I looked damn fucking hideous. It's my first time experiencing this. I swear I have ZERO confidence in myself now. Argh..

On a happier note... I got myself a pair of FIR concert tickets. Gonna watch it with Mr BF on 9th July, PROVIDED nothing goes wrong. Everytime I'm excited about smth, SMTH just has to crop up. I already have a feeling something will happen on that day, and tadah there goes my first ever concert with bf. Yawns, so I shall not raise my hopes too high, in case I get tooooo disappointed. I hate how it feels to be disappointed. OH WELL..

OKAY this is getting tooo wordy.

BTW. A few days ago, I found out something a girl shld always do.

FOR A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP TO BE A LITTLE SMOOTHER, YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND'S FRIENDS.

And FML, I DO NOT have a good relationship with my bf's friends. Well, used to.. But I was such a BITCH and I am not good at pulling connections. So, YAY for me.

Okay, I should get some sleep.

fuck u.

2010-06-18T18:17:00.004+08:00

Met darling for a little while as I needed to settle some stuffs.. Collected dad's phone from Nokia and the lady asked if my nails were real and said they were beautiful. On wednesday another lady from mavis told me my nails were beautiful as well. That makes me happy. Oh the lady who did my nails told me my nails were beautiful as well. Yay.

Ah anyway.. Headed to best denki afterthat to buy um. Iron? Thank god the salesperson was damn friendly. Bought the iron whatever and we headed to popular afterthat. And tadah I got my book. I think that's all. Went home afterthat.

My table is in a huge mess. Again. Oh well.

I can use ibanking now. Which means shopping online is much much more convenient.
I think I need to get a life. Meet more new people and start socializing. I doubt I can socialize, but. I need to. I can't wait to graduate from this fucking piece of shit. I think throughout my 4 years of secondary school life it's just sadness misery agony pain whatsoever and a little bit of happiness.

I need to start studying as well.

2010-06-15T17:18:00.001+08:00

I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-15T16:21:00.004+08:00

Parents brought me and bro out for lunch. Curry fish head! Wahahaha so shiok. Then we went to bedok cos my father wanted to sell his phone. But he didnt in the end.. Lol. Me and mum went to ntuc to buy some stuffs. I bought cookie mix! Gonna try baking it later, since I'll be home allll alone :(

Went to farmway afterthat to look at fishes.
Hmm to be specific, we went to look at fish tanks with greeny water.

And I'm home now..

I can use iBanking now! Wahahaha~

Anyway, I tried to counsel myself just now by reminding myself that
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!

1) I still grieve over the loss of my good friend. A guy. And I treat him as my big brother. I have been really upset for the past few days. Every night, I lie on my bed and cry like crazy, and there was once, I thought about this guy. He's the one that understands me the MOST. He knows when I am upset, even though I pretend to be happy. He will tell me to stop pretending and admit that I am upset even when I gave him :D :) =) faces in our smses. HAHA. Yeah.. But, I still lost him. Because I was a very selfish and self-centred bitch then. Ok, now as well. Um basically, I look for him when I need him. But when I'm done with him, I leave him alone. Yeah AKA spare tyre. So, even though there are people who tell me he's not angry at me or anything, but honestly he is. I'm not dumb!! There are signssss lah. It's a pity, really, to me at least, but there isn't much for me to do anymore. No matter how much I want to befriend him again, I know it's impossible. I shall accept the fact and move on with life. Hehehe~

There's no 'reason' here lah. I mean, it was my fault for not cherishing him, and this will be my lesson for taking things for granted. Or rather, taking the people around me for granted :)

2) I can feel the distance I have with my friends now. Even my bestfriend Miao. She has her own friends, and sometimes I find that I've irritating her all the time. There isn't someone in my life that I can feel very very comfortable with. I mean like, I don't have a friend to have breakfast/lunch/dinner with me as and when I want to. I will think twice before asking people out, and sometimes I back out, and end up starving myself. I don't want them to think that, I look for them only when I need someone, only when I am alone.. I don't have much friends in the first place. < 5 maybe? Haha. Pathetic I know. But I brought this upon myself. I know the reason why my life is pathetic. It's obvious isn't it. Hahahaha.. But I think I'm not going to think too much. I'll be leaving this school in a few months, and I need not worry about maintaining friendships anymore. Maybe after O's, I'll have no one to go shopping with, no one to have meals with. It's okay. I'll look for a full time job and work my life away. YAY~

stop hurting me, pls?

2010-06-13T18:29:00.004+08:00

My dinner yesterday.. Hahahaha~

Met Natalie around 12 today, and we went to do our nails. Hehehehe. Aunty + maid! I think we sat there for about an hour. Sooo damn long. But at least we're satisfied with our nails. Except that my left thumb is kind of.. ruined! Went to eat mos burger for lunch, and that was when I realised my left thumb was ruined. So we went back to ask the lady if she could redo my nails.. And she did! Hehe. The lady who did my nails was reallly friendly. Unlike Nat's ;p

Okay so we headed to Mdm Rozi's place afterthat. And... I accidentally ruined my nails again. Lol. So.. I managed to make it not thaaaat ugly. Hahaha. I didn't do much work there since I wasn't in the mood to study.. Took some pictures with Nutella and we went home. Hehehehe lazy to blog until very happy happy and exciting.. :)

But it was fun to spend my time with her..
At least I can talk to her about many things.
Hahahaha we had our own inside talk at mos burger. So fun.

:(

2010-06-12T16:44:00.002+08:00

Watched P.S I love you this morning. And I cried like crazy because it was sooo damn touching. Plus there wasn't anybody at home, so yup. I want to get the storybook version! Plus The Last Song. Might be heading to tm later to get some things & the books, and also to trasnfer someee money. And get dinner. Hmm what should I eat? Or should I just skip dinner? Hmm.

Anyway. I got this story from egen, and hahaha again, I cried after reading it!!

They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her.

Today, she’s being willful again.

Her: “Why can’t you be the photographer for my friend’s wedding? She promised she’d pay.”
Him: “I don’t have time that day.”
Her: “Humph!”
Him: “Huh?”
Her: “Don’t have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need.”
Him: “I… someone will definitely recognize my work some day.”
Her: “Humph! I don’t care, you’ll have to do it for her!”
Him: “No.”
Her: “Just this once?”
Him: “No.”

Negotiation’s broken. So, she gave the final warning: “Give me a Yes within three days, or else…”

First day, she “withheld” the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi… Except the double bed, to show her “benevolence”.

Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn’t mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.

Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, “Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences.”

He’s nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she’ll end this state. She doesn’t give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.

Third day, night. On the bed. He’s lying on the bed, looking to one side. She’s lying on the bed, looking to the other side.

Him: “We need to talk.”
Her: “Unless it’s about the wedding, forget it.”
Him: “It’s something very important.”

She remains silent.

Him:”Let’s get a divorce.”
She did not believe her ears.
Him: “I got to know a girl.”

She’s totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that’s the only place she didn’t go through yesterday. How careless.

Him: “She’s a nice girl.”
Her tears fell.

Him: “She has a good personality too.”
She’s heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: “She says that she’ll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married.”

She’s very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: “She loves me truly.”
She wishes to sit up and scream at him “Don’t I?”
Him: “So, I think she won’t force me to do something that I don’t want to do.”

She’s thinking, but the rage won’t subside.
Him: “Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?”
Her: “…!”

He brings the photo before her eyes. She’s in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.

He sighs. She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket. She pulls her hand back under the blanket.

He turns off the light, and sleeps. She turns on the light, and sits up. He’s asleep. She lost sleep. She regrets treating him the way she treated him.

She cried again, and thought about a lot of things. She wants to wake him up. She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn’t want to push him anymore. She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.

She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.

It’s a nicely taken photo. A photo he took for her. She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.

He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.

“You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”

I might just get stabbed in the back, someday..

2010-06-11T21:52:00.005+08:00

Someone warned me about getting betrayed, and it got me thinking for very very very long. Yea, maybe one day, I'll get betrayed, by the people I love and care the most. And that is when I realise love is just bullshit and nonsensical rubbish, that love is just imaginary.

I just got an ulcer, but I don't think it hurts, at all. Instead I like the feeling. I bit my ulcer ytd night, but it didn't hurt. Have been eating chips everyday (it's free, why not?) despite my ulcer. Sometimes when I eat smth spicy, and it stings my ulcer, but again, I enjoyed the feeling. Have been eating good food recently. Parents brought me out for big prawn mee (my favourite food) ytd as lunch, and then 85 for dinner with mum. Ate bcm, otah and chicken wings. Bought home peanut rice balls as well. Shiok. Then today, a bit different. Maggie mee for lunch and kfc + chips for dinner.

Have been cooping myself up at home recently, except when I have school and tuition. Mainly because I have been rather dejected because of certain matters. Have been thinking a lot too, and of course crying a lot. Haha crybaby ma. Yet to start studying too, which really sucks. But I'd really love to have a life without studying or working, all I do is surf the net, express my feelings at different websites, shopping, eating, sleeping. I don't need any human beings in my life, except my family, I'll entertain myself with dramas and tons of dramas, I'll watch how other people lead their life, while I sit back and relax. I'm back to the old me, the one who can't trust anybody anymore, the one who is very negative and what not. Haha honestly, life is really tiring for people like me. But what to do?

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2010-06-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

2010-06-04T22:20:00.003+08:00

Mum told me my confidence level is getting lower and lower.
I was like, wtf how come she knows? Hmmm because she is my mum (hehehe)

Anyway.. It's been like sooo long since I dared to post pictures of myself up to this site.
Y'know, I'm fucking afraid of criticism. Heehee. But nevermind.. I'm feeling quite alright
now, since things between me and my darling boy. Just another cycle in our relationship.
To be honest, I was quite close to giving up and ending our r/s, but things got better, so.. :)

Went to Nihon Mura for dinner with darling yesterday. We ate quite a number of things and the
bill was $41. Paid him only $10 and he asked me to keep the receipt. Gei gao ;p And today! Had
lunch at swensens with 7 people. Hehehehe was super full after the meal.

Went back to school for boring O level SPA afterthat :)
Hehehehe lots of random pictures below.. I need to pack my room.. AGAIN.
I shall caption all my photos! Muahahaha I miss my boyfriend :(

^ MY EGG (WITH MEAT AND PRAWNIES) ; Today's dinner.. Pathetic right?!
And I feel damnn hungry now.. Having a little little little gastric now, walao.

^ Hehehehe the sucky ice cream I had @ nihon ytd!!! :( Hate peanuts!

^ WALAO SKINNY OR NOT.. :( ONLY FOR THAT DAY LOR. IF ONLY I'M LIKE THAT
EVERYDAY. SIGHS, SO WHAT IF MY APPETITE IS SMALLER, STILL FAT LAH

^ Hehehehe my books that I've yet to read!

2010-06-02T20:43:00.011+08:00

I forgotten when we took this... LOL

Hehehehe hello hello, finally uploading the pictures for the past few days :D:D
Just came home after a day out with my miaomiao! We went to the gym and I burnt about
70 calories(ONLY!!!) today. After that we went to suntan. We didnt turn tanned, at all..
LOL. Then we went to bathe! Shiok. Oh and while tanning, both of us wanted to eat
MOS BURGER :D So yup, after bathing we headed to mos burger. Weee love their milk tea.
We walked around and we got really bored, so we went to trim our eyebrows. Hehehe!!
The person drew my eyebrows and hmm it looks quite good to me! Okay then we headed to
t1's erm.. rooftop. Lol! Went home afterthat feeling really happy wahahaha.

MORE PICTURES ON FACEBOOK LAHHHH WALAO SO LAZY TO WAIT ALREADY..

The day when I went out with Weilng and Irene :D:D:D:D

A part of my life

2010-06-01T16:30:00.002+08:00

I've had 2 relationships (if primary school love is counted as well), and everytime after
the r/s is over, my life is just black. And dark. I cry for many many weeks, for many
months, and even years. Even when I was in primary school, I can't really remember how
long the relationship lasted, and all I remember was I got dumped!! I got really really
sad after knowing he wanted to end the r/s. Silly I know, I mean, it was just puppy love.
But I took love very seriously. And what's worst, he's in the same class as me. And there
was one day, we were singing this song, If we hold on together, and I looked
at him and cried. Because I missed him, yeah retarded I know. But I couldn't help it.

Then in 2007 eoy, I met klinsmann through Irene. We started with friends, and he was attached
at that time. But he wanted to break up with his current girlfriend, cos of what reasons
I can't really remember. I was the one who sent the break up message to his girfriend.
Heehee. And I think I started falling for him, as I slowly let go of my primary school r/s.
We got together on 23rd January 2009. We were still very childish then, duh. And because
of me so called 'moment of folly', I initiated a break up on our first month. The reason
still remain unknown! Hehehe. And afterthat day, I cried every single day. I can remember
crying every afternoon while I went home alone. I cried at the bus stop, I cried on the bus.
I don't know where Irene went to at that time. Lol! Anyway, so I continued liking him.
Stupid right?! He then went into another relationship in 2009, and that broke my heart.
Okay I think I'll skip this part. I still feel the pain. Hahahaha. And now, I'm with him again.
Sometimes we still fight over very very trivial stuffs. But things like that are inevitable
in a relationship, moreover we're only 16. And sometimes, all these quarrels just add on
to my sorrow. Honestly, I've come to a point where I cry everyday, be it with or without
reasons. It's just, a habit of mine over the years. After all the crying and sufferings,
I'm used to being sad. And I realised I've slowly become someone.. Sad? As in, it's a natural
thing for me to cry already. And I'm slowly getting used to the new, pessimistic me.

I've had enough of people asking me to stop being 'emo', honestly, emo is not the word
to describe me. And I dislike the word, because it makes me sound so.. fake? Yeah..
I'm definitely happy when I'm with my friends, and I'm not faking it. I just get upset
every night, because ít's a habit, it's a daily routine, and not because I'm.. EMO.

Nope, not trying to gain sympathy or anything.

2010-05-26T20:40:00.002+08:00

Every single day, I lie in my bed, cry, and scream silently.
I think about the things that happened during the day, and I cry even harder.
I think about how you hurt me with your words and actions, I died..

When you're at your weakest

2010-05-25T20:23:00.006+08:00

betray betray betray betray betray
trust trust trust trust trust

The 2 words kept repeating in my mind, and all I can do is cry and cry and cry.

hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt

You know, sometimes the more you love someone, the easier it is for he/she to hurt you,
the easier it is for them to break your heart. And because you rely on them so much, you love
them so much that you trust them that they won't do things to hurt you. But more often than
not, they're always the ones that disappoint you the most, the ones that cut you the deepest.

refusal

2010-05-24T22:59:00.006+08:00

Mum's birthday falls on 31st May = MT O LVL.
What can I get for her!? Damn headache.. I don't want to get food, like, urgh?
But what else?! I want something useful useful useful! Okay I shall start stalking her.
Anyway, most probably I'll be going out with WL and IK on Saturday, I think. Hee.
Excited you mei you? Like so damn long never go out liao. Hehehehehe~

Yesterday was me and Darling's N months being together (lol!).
Intended to watch THE LAST SONG! But we didnt. I rotted at his place instead.
We gave the movie a miss because we wanted to practice on chinese. But end up.. Hee.
Went to T2's swensens with his family for dinner. It was his cousin's birthday.
Srsly I always get very stressed out whenever I have dinner with his family. Not
just his brothers + parents lor. It's like, his extended family?! But ytd was ok, cos
we split the table. My table was mainly the young ones with 2 adults, so.. Not much of
a problem for me! Ate baked spaghetti :) Reached home around 11, and thank god mum
didnt scold me. Hehehehe. Overall it was a well spent Sunday lah :)

Heh got all these pictures from THE ICING ROOM :)

Hmm somehow I really cant wait for 2010 to end. Fuck O levels! But I know, to get into
my desire course in poly, I have to do well for o lvls.. Alamak. I am definitely not
going to JC anymore. Even though I still hope to enter into universities.. HAHAHA.

Sometimes I wonder what will happen if human beings don't have to rest.
Seriously, I can be that lazy that I don't want to sleep. I mean like, I'm too lazy to
sleep. A bit retarded. But this is how I'm feeling right now. Argh.. Sianzzzz.

Today a teacher told me this: "Please do not insult my teaching method." :(
I really wonder how can some teachers be so.. Erm, biased towards certain students lor..
I mean like, aren't teachers supposed to treat every single student EQUALLY? :(
Heehee, that is why I am always rude to my teachers. I don't think I've ever been polite
to any teacher. It's either I'm giving them attitude or talking to them in a very
"ah lian" manner. Lol. Because that's what they think of me as well. So I won't bother
changing the impression they have on me. But maybe I'm being toooo sensitive. Lol.

OKAY I AM BORED. BUT I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP...

I hate the internet connection at night!!!
I shall sleep now. Another boring and draggy day ahead~

Saturday Blues

2010-05-22T22:04:00.005+08:00

Okay honestly. I see all my friends with very cool blog layouts and titles and
images, and I look at mine. It really gives me no motivation to blog, seriously.
Haha. I'm always not someone who gets all the attention "cyberly" and sometimes it
makes me wonder am I too ugly or am I just a noob or am I just so "unattractive".

And it's like, I know I don't have any so called readers. It's like, why bother
blogging when nobody reads it at all? Haha. Okay so it just sucks lah huh. And it's
not like I have tons of beautiful pictures to upload. And I don't have a very
interesting daily life and daily experiences I can share about. I don't take much
pictures because I'm in my school u almost everyday day and I am not that pretty.

I had a very bad saturday. Feeling gl00my the whole day. Hahahaha.
The best part is I don't really know the exact reason to why I'm feeling this way.
Sucks right.. But one thing to make me happy is I've ordered a top online.
New clothes even though I have no idea when am I going to wear them. Hello o level.

Okay.. I shall rot in my bed and read fml.

2010-05-15T15:57:00.003+08:00

:D
Darling asked if I wanted to catch a movie later, and I immediately agreed! Hee.
Cos he knows I want to watch the last song. Don't even have to say which movie and I
told him I'll go check the timing and let him know. I love my boyfriend hehehehe =)

Should be watching the 7.10 pm one, provided my mum says okay. Just sent her a msg!
I've been enjoying myself recently. Heh. Ordered 2 tops online, waiting for email only.
Hee, have been visiting lots of blogshops too. All good websites ;p
Since I prefer online shopping than "real-life shopping" also LOL.

There's one thing that I have to do urgently, but I've been procrastinating.
That is, pack my bloody room. I can't stand all the clothes and books and papers lying
on my bed and on the table. I can't stand all the clothes being dumped into my wardrobe.
But the thing is, I don't even want to start keeping my things and hanging the clothes
back onto my wardrobe.. Sighs, now all my clothes are crumpled again. Irritating!

Wanted to search for movies to keep myself occupied.. But.. Lazy. Heh~
Okay but now no choice. Really have to download movies already!!

Have a good weekend!

2010-05-13T22:40:00.002+08:00

The jeans darling's mum gave to me. Okay that was super long ago. I think months ago!!
LOL it wasn't specially bought for me. She intended to buy it for darling's younger cousin,
but he couldn't fit in!! I was the only one who can wear it. Heehee so she gave it to me.
His cousin is only in primary school!! I didnt wear it at all because I always dont feel comfortable
in jeans. But ytd I decided to try being in a pair of jeans(lol).. Okay laaah not bad only =P

Okay.. So I don't know what to do right now. Feel like sleeping, but a bit retarded.
Don't feel like eating anything also. Gahhh. Can't wait for tmr, cos I don't have to wake up early.
And I should be going out to get my flats and school shoes. Not able to wait till june holidays
cos my shoe seriously very cui now. I don't know what kind of flats should I get.. Same kind as
my old one or sandals or try smth I've never worn before.. Hmm heehee then at night going to
Daniel's bbq. Yay yay even though I'm not close to him, but still.. At least a getaway (did I used
the correct word?! LOL) for me ^^ exams are over!!!! Muahahaha I love my boyfriend!! :D

Heh anyway I love the new 9 pm channel 8 show!! "with you" .... HAHAHA.
I cried while watching the show just now. Like super sad lah!?!? YAY GOT NEW SHOWS..

my big day

2010-05-13T15:14:00.006+08:00

I enjoyed myself yesterday! Thanks to darling, Irene, Axl, Xiaopang, Yonglong and Benedict :D
Was at darling's place ytd, then someone knocked on the door. And darling insisted that I open the door,
so I did, and Irene popped out with a cake! Heh. Then she shouted, 1 2 3. But nobody came out. Lol! Fail ;p
Okay laaa I was quiteee touched. I teared.. LOL! Aiya, people first time receiving such surprises ma.. Hee.
I am proud to say that my boyfriend is a very good cook! Because his mum is one as well. Like mama like son ;D

(hehehehe you see that chawanmushi on the top right hand corner? ^^)

Cabbed home with darling after they left. Went home to change because we're heading to the
swimming complex! Heh. Strangely, we were the first to reach even they we didn't arrive at 3.30!!
Bumped into Sirui there! The guys went to swim while me and miaomiao stoned at the side :(

I left as early as 5 pm.. Because my family wanted to bring me out to eat. Sad.
Okay laaa overall I really enjoyed myself.. Though the day was quite short.

I felt like a princess ytd.nDarling didnt allow to do any house work, sort of.. Hehe shiok!
But the situtation changed when I reached home. I was asked to iron the clothes blah blah blah.
See the difference in how I'm treated by the people around me? Hehehe~~

Anyway!

I really love the present darling gave me.. I sort of went crazy after seeing it!! ^^
Irene's present as well.. Hehehehe aiya, who doesn't love presents?! :D And of course
the gym ball by the 9 people (I can't say some out, sadly..) I had a headache thinking
where should I place my things yesterday night.. But I solved it eventually! Muahaha.

OKAY, IT'S THE LAST DAY OF EXAMS AND I AM AWESOMELY ELATED!!!
Wah but the a maths paper was damn long.. My energy was drained up by 11+ am.
Not that I'm sleepy. I just don't want to continue doing it already lor.
But I endured lah.. The paper was quite easy, the only thing is one question can be
up to 8 marks. I left a few 5 marks and 7 marks question blank. Arghhh sucks.

Went to tm with darling after the exam. Heeeee love going out with him because he is
wayyyyy to adorable. Seriously, try squeezing his face inwards. He'll look like a fish!!!
And he sent me home today! Like after years later.... Heh. Alright I'm supposed to sleep,
but I'm not tired anymore.. Aiya okayyyy I'll sleep in 10 minutes time! Shall ask the fish
if he wants to have dinner with me later! =D YAYYYYYYY IT'S TIME TO ENJOY LIFE, NOT!!!

Lastly, thanks to everybody who wished my happy birthday through smses and calls and omg facebook!
Like so many random people wishing me happy birthday!! It actually felt... great? HAHAHA.
OKAY I DEFINITELY LOVE 12 MAY EVEN THOUGH I STILL HAVE ONE BIG CAKE YET TO FINISH.

GOOD NIGHT =D

:D

2010-05-12T00:12:00.004+08:00

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2010-05-11T12:17:00.004+08:00

DO I LOOK LIKE A SLUT? :P:P (below)

This box was on my table when I came home.. Mum bought it for me ^^
So sweet.. Heeheehee. Plus there's number 12 on it. Muahaha I love cookies!
I love mummy! Now I feel quite guilty for not getting her any mother's day present.

But I've already promised myself to get her smth on her birthday, which is 31st may
O LEVEL MOTHER TONGUE! Hehehe. Okay I'm left with a maths p2 and I'm
done with the exams.. Honestly, this time all the papers are difficult to me.. Sad.
But kind of expected.. I was so damn complacent and lazy lah?! Heh.. Nvm, I don't care!

Okay I'm gonna cook pasta for myself and wait for time to pass :(

perfect day

2010-05-09T22:48:00.005+08:00

I really love today! It's like, throughout the whole day I've been feeling happy and receiving surprises!
Firstly, my family came home and told me I have my own laptop now. I was like, wow!
Then when I left the house, I didnt have to wait for the bus or run for the bus! As soon
as I reached my bus stop, the bus came! Then at the library, I waited for merely 30 seconds
and 293 came! Wah, seriously. When I walked to the back of the bus, there was one 1
seat available, for me! So when I reached darling's door step.. Okay lah not much of
a surprise. Nothing much happened, but it feels great to be able to see his family and
of course, him. Then lastly, when I cabbed home after tuition + dinner, the uncle was SUPER
friendly. And we parted by greeting each other good night! He even asked me to study hard!

Okay the only sad thing was I spent 45 minutes ironing all the clothes :(
Not looking forward to tmr and tuesday. E maths and physics, both my weakest subject :(
Hmm actually every subject is my weakest right now.. Sad sad? Hahahaha.

Okay good night everybody! :D

2010-05-09T14:02:00.003+08:00

Heehee.. Bro gave me his laptop (fortunately still working well) because he got a new
CPU and my dad got himself a new laptop. Suddenly become so rich eh? :P Hehehe~

Very happy because I can finally blog as and when I like!! And use facebook everyday.
Play mall world, blog hop.. Wah very shiok. No longer lazy to upload pictures.. Heh!
Ohh and this laptop has a webcam as well! Hehehe muahaha I am really happy lah ;D

Cancelled plans to tm because I was quite lazy to go out. Though I'll have to give my
SUBWAY a miss.. Boohoo. Heh but nevermind. Although it's mother's day but I'm in my
room the whole time..Anyway yesterday's dinner sucked. HAHA. Luckily I didnt wear heels!

OKAY THAT'S ALL.. I'm very hungry now!!!

2010-05-08T17:40:00.003+08:00

Hee, should be wearing this for the dinner later on.. Dress, but a casual dress.
Hmm honestly not very looking forward to the dinner. Ah I've never looked forward to
such dinners.. Haha but it's okay. My grandfather's birthday I think? Must be filial
even though I think he can't remember me anymore. I'm not close to my grandparents at
all.. Hahaha not even my cousins and my uncles and aunties. Very sure I'll feel very inferior
and small over there. Cos I'm the youngest and I guess my cousins will find me childish?
Hmm I don't know lah! Just what I think. That's the reason why I don't look 4ward to it.

Tmr's mother's day.. But I didnt get anything for my mum. I know I know, what kind of
daughter is this.. Hahaha whatever. There's tuition tmr at 6.30 yay can see darling already~

Anyway, I took a lot of photos just now. Was playing with my hair.. Hehehehe
shall upload them some time. I am really not in the study mood now lor.. Damn depressing.
I'm sooo gonna fail my physics paper. I didnt even start revising. Went for tuition
alone ytd and did one physics paper. And guess what? I don't know how to do a single
question which is like.. Wahhh stress. Was damn determined to study when I was thinking
about things when I'm on the bus.. But afterthat.. Sucks? Hahaha. Headed to darling's
place after tuition.. Spent my time there using facebook and SIMS3. Heeehee. Cabbed
home cos mum was sick, so took care of her and all, then cab down to 201 to find my
dad. Ate free noodles there while darling ate a 4.50 rice. Using my money.. :P

Okay basically that's all. And I honestly dont like being in 405 anymore.. Hahaha.

2010-05-08T15:54:00.001+08:00

LOL

Subway subway subway!!

2010-05-07T18:37:00.004+08:00

Okay.. At darling's place now. Sitting on his blueee gym ball surfing the net.
I am really really bored, and I chanced upon this girl's blog... Really buey tahan.
Showed darling and he find it sooo embarrassing cos they were from the same primary school.
He a bit no link. But is really very paiseh to be the guy the girl is talking about..

Anyway.. I am really really really craving for subway now. Not only now lor. Everyday!
But cannot mention it to darling, cos subway is expensive and he won't feel full.
It will be a waste of money so.. Sad sad! Subway I miss you do you know that? :(

REALLY LOR. I am rotting to death.. Hmm oh ya, I screwed up ALL my exam papers.
Kind of expected cos of the effort I put in. Haha, those can't be bothered attitude.
Plus I'm a realllllly complacent girl. Take my intelligence from granted (LOL).

MY FAVOURITE. HAHAHAHA.

Like seriously.. Feel so sad now cos I can only see the sandwich :( :( :(

2010-05-03T17:06:00.004+08:00

LOL HEHEHEHEHE. Currently at Darling's place playing facebook games.
Oh and sitting on his blueee gym ball. I didn't know fb games can be that
entertaining lor.. Anyway. Can't wait for the exams to end man. And also
for my birthday to arrive! Heh. Hmm don't know where should I go that day.
Whatever~ I am really very bored right now. Tomorrow's ss.. Die die die!

Need to find new stuffs to entertain me.. Thought of magazines ytd, but couldnt
find any interesting ones. 8 days is like sooooo god damn boring! No content at all.
Yawns.. Hate school life. Just want to enjoy life, relax, eat, sleep, play.. :(

it's not that i don't care

2010-05-03T00:32:00.007+08:00

The steam egg I cooked. HAHAHAHA it's very nice (to me..). Soo proud of myself ;p
Finally uploaded the photos I took with Miaomiao went we went studying together with Wenkai.

Had prata that night.. Heehee the sugar = shiok.
The last picture was the brownie me and darling baked. Not very nice to me.
I felt like vomitting after eating quite a few mouths! Too thick I think.

FAIL :(

Had a great day with Miaomiao today :D

The good thing about going out with her is she can make me laugh like a mad woman.
And we will laugh together afterthat. Lol! Basically, she makes me happy!! Hehe.
Laugh until very loud also no problem one. *so embarrassing!* HAHAHA. Aunty lucy \m/

We walked for I think.. 6 hours or so around the 3 malls in tampines. Boring!!
Okay I'm lazy to elaborate as well. But it feels really good to go shopping and stop
thinking about studies. SS and history essays go and die! Maths and sciences too! :@

Okay, really retarded pictures below.. Me acting cute (it's a form of being confident about myself
okay? :D:D) Us acting cute, imitating people (twist sign HAHA), and us -blotting- LOL..

I spent around 40 bux today!! Hehehehe.
Yay I've gotten my weekly allowance already. So I'm quiteee rich now! :D
Okay I'm gonna go into my room to pack my room, again. I know I know.
My room is really really messy.. Clothes lying around on the floor, on the bed.
My table is even more worse. Hehehe so that's why I need to pack !!! OKAY BYEBYE.

GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY. OR RATHER, GOOD MORNING. HEHEHEHE.

*NEED TO CALL IRENE THE PIG AT 1.45 AM*

what's over is over

2010-05-01T01:09:00.006+08:00

It's 1 am and I just reached home! Hehehe. The good thing about having bad relations with your
parents is that they don't care about you that much, and you'll get all the freedom you want :D

Spent my night at Sharlene's condo. Had bbq + homemade strawberry cheesecake. Can say that
I've enjoyed myself because of the company of Mr Mah and friends! (Feifei, Xuanwei,
Benedict, Minhui, Zikri, Jiawei, Sharlene's classmates and Mus(ain)[can't spell!]!
Even though it was a really last minute decision to join them. Was quite reluctant at first..
But, oh well :D Things turned out well in the end. Who cares about the exams man?! HAHA.
We left the place around 10 and we walked from Simei all the way to Tampines! Okay it wasn't
very very far actually. Then we walked from Tampines Inter to 800 plus!! Half dead already.
Had supper there but I didnt eat much because I wasn't hungry (miraculously..) HAHA.
Darling's brother + Gf came to fetch all of us home afterthat. And tadah, here I am!!

I don't know what to do right now. Feeling really sleepy, but I've to iron the clothes before
sleeping. What sad life I have huh?! Boring, "can't wait" for tmr night man. Some bloody
HOKKIEN songs concert I have to attend.. Yes yes, it's the concert with the actors from "爱"
=.= I'll be wasting my time there seriously. Thank god it's held at night if not I'll go crazy!

OKAY SO I SHALL THINK ABOUT WHAT I SHOULD DO NOW..
GOOD NIGHT HEHEHEHE LOVE LOVE LOVE ~

my boring life

2010-04-28T20:59:00.007+08:00

Hmmmmmm okay it's been a very long time since I actually sat down infront of the computer.
I wouldn't say I've been busy studying like crazy. I did study, but this is definitely not the best
effort I can put in.. But I promised myself not to continue being like that for O levels, duh. SA1 is
actually considered nothing to me, as in, it's just another typical exam. So I'll just study whatever
I can with whatever time I'm left with.. Don't want to burn midnight oil and
study like mad. In other words 顺其自然 lah. Anyway, life has been really boring..

MUNDANE (LOL)

And I was realllly down for a period of time too.. But I'm slowly standing up already, which is a
good thing, duh? I'm trying to find confidence in myself. But most imptly the confidence to make
my own decisions and choices. And.. I've so called lost the 'competing because I can't lose' feeling
in me.. Even SOME times the feeling is still there. But at least it's not as bad anymore.

The only out of place thing in my life is my family. Exactly same feeling about a year ago. Having
a home with only me myself and I. No conversations, nothing. Just little words like, "Mum, Dad."
when they're home, and "I'm off to bed." Nothing else.. Which makes me sad, because I used to
love my parents a lot, but now.. It's a total different feeling now. So! I don't care what I should do lah.
I mean, what else can I do?! Just let nature take its course! Hehehehe~

I know this is really boring.. But I've got no mood to study now, which is BAD. But nevermind,
I really prefer life like this than studying all the time! This is why I've decided not to go to JC.

Okay my birthday is coming!!!

And thank God I don't have any examinations on that day.. But the next day.. A maths paper TWO! :(
Damn sad lah!? I don't wanna have tuition please.. I do have a wish.. That is for a fewwww people to
wish me Happy Birthday. (secret!) Hmm, because last year I was really disappointed. And I don't
want to experience the same disappointment this year. Even though it's different groups of people. Heh.

2010-04-21T15:08:00.003+08:00

OKAY. HATE TODAY...
It's 3 pm and I'm home already. 2 very stupid thing happened to me just now.

ONE) I was using Klinsmann's ez link, bcos I lost mine. And UNFORTUNATELY, the
ticket checker (or whatever you call that) was on the bus. I was like OMGOMG
*PANIC* Called klins and he asked me to lie that I didnt take my ticket.. HOW?!
LOL. Then I made it so obvious to the passengers that I was nervous lah!! When it
was my turn OMG, I lied, and the uncle gave me a =.= face and asked me to get it
from the driver. Lol. Ok so luckily the bus was about to reach one bus stop. So I
quickly get down the bus!!! HAHAHAHA. My heart was beating very fast.. LOL.

TWO) When I reached home, the floor mats were outside the balcony, waiting to DRY lah.
But it was raining. So I quickly went to the balcony. I didnt know what to do so I
tried bringing all the bamboo poles + the metal stand. AND WTF I only have 2 hands.
One pole broke into 2 while the other poles + floormats dropped on the floor. The
dirty floor. Okay... Speechless.. Really super unlucky. I JUST SIGHED AND took all
the floormats in... HATE TO HANDLE THINGS I CAN'T HANDLE. JUST MAKES ME FEEL :(

ARGHHHHHHHHH + I couldnt find Mr Issac Ng after school. ARGHHHHH :@

:(

2010-04-17T22:31:00.005+08:00

Yeah, honestly we're really very alike. I always tell that to myself. And again, to be honest, I don't hate you too.. But I tell others I do, I don't know why. I want to care for you when you're upset, but I'll be seen as fake, seen as a hypocrite. Before me and klins got together, I talked to him, to ask him to go back to you, because you asked me for help. I really did, I tried my very best to convince him, I didn't want you to get hurt even more, though I want him back very badly, I promised Weiling I wouldnt be with him, but in the end I did, because I didn't want to regret again. I knew it was tough for you the first few months, and for that I apologise. You dared to speak infront of the school, it's only after the jeering incident that made you lose confidence, I see you shivering with fear on the stage during the investiture, and felt weird. Not hate, not happy. Just, weird. It was only then, that I realised my hatred for you is slowly dying down.. But everytime that happens, another thing will happen, and I'll start to hate you again. And the cycle repeats. I've changed for the worst, like what people tell me.. Ok I do not know how to complete this post.. I'm really speechless. Just a piece of advice, dont bother trying to please the people around you, it's not easy at all, & you'll get hurt very very easily. You live for yourself, not for them. And.. You're awesome too, really..

2010-04-17T18:33:00.004+08:00

I'm going to STOP trying. Why force myself to do something when I'm not capable of doing it? True, I really really tried my very best to un hate. But look at what happens everytime? I'll feel even more worst, end up hurting myself. You're always the victim here. Why? Wasn't I once a victim as well? Talk about confidence. How can my self esteem be higher than yours in any way when I've gone through betrayal, I've been abandoned and blamed for something I didn't do, when I've lost a good friend of mine whom I still miss a lot, when I've tried crying and crying like crazy everyday, when I've cried for nothing just because my heart aches, when I've tried seeing the person I love hug another girl, when I've tried loving someone who has ruined my life, when I am always receiving critics from people around me - my friends, my family, everyone, when I always act as if I'm not affected when you or your friends walk past but the truth is I am, when I always blame myself for everything I've done wrongly, when I'm always, constantly screwing up every single thing, when I'm always a disappointment, when I'm seen as the rude and ill-mannered student. I've lost trust in human beings, just like you, but at least you have all your friends, you have a happy family. I understand how it feels when you can't seem to trust anybody anymore, I really do, because not only do I not trust others, I can't trust myself too. At least you have the confidence of doing things you like and want to. I can't. I'm afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. I feel useless every single day. I feel useless for not being able to pass my e maths, for not being able to top my Chemistry, for not being able to balance my time well, for not being able to have a happy family, for not being able to bring smiles to my friends and my boyfriend, for not being able to speak nicely to all the teachers because I see them ALL as being biased, for not being able to accept myself for who I am, for not being able to make new friends, for not being able to take the initiative, for not being able to un hate you. You have a better life than me, a much more better life. I might not be true, but at least there are people who loves you, and treat you good because you deserve it, who knows that you're sad and will stand up for you whenever I badmouth you, there are people who understand you, you have random people who will comment you and ask you to cheer up. I'm really tired of life, till now, I am still crying everyday without knowing the reasons why. People tell me I've changed, and they sounded like they hate the current me. But do they even know the reason why I've changed? I give up in trying to please people, so I make them hate me by being a bitch worst than you. So what if I hate to lose, so what if I love to compete and then lose again, and start feeling dejected and useless, so what if I get jealous over certain things? I am a human. How much have I suffered in my secondary school life? Nobody supports me because they're starting to realise I am the bitch and not you. When I have a new thing, for example a new bag, a new watch or a new keychain or whatsoever, I'll always always receive comments like, "Eh dont suit you leh." or "Eh why you buy sia? So ugly." So what if I don't follow the trend? I really don't mind dying right now, because there's nothing for me to remember, there's nothing on this Earth that will stop me from leaving.

Paradise

2010-04-11T16:56:00.006+08:00

I was concentrating really well..!! Typing out my chinese homework!! :D But.. :(
After like 10 minutes, I started exploring other websites again, searching for pictures
of Maldives!! I've always wanted to visit this place when I'm older.. And also for honeymoon (teehee).
My chinese teacher mentioned about Maldives being a paradise on Friday. Which made me...
quite happy. Haha! Really, this place is awesome, very!! Got these pictures from Google :)

Okay so. And there goes my chinese homework.. Hais, there goes my "tool" as well!!
Anyway!! Darling initiated to come over to my place tomorrow for dinner, and he's going
to cook for me. Not the other way round! Haha! Yay yay yay. It better be a delicious
and happy dinner if not... I'll pinch his face like crazy! Okay and hope it will not
be cancelled all of a sudden or something.. ;( Looking forward to tomorrow ^^

The game "MALL WORLD" on facebook is damn addictive!!
I spent all my money and have to slowly earn them back. Sucks!!

Hmmm so basically I have been wasting my time the whole day. Gahhh.
That's it, gonna continue drooling over Maldives and go shopping(virtually) T.T

Utmost respect

2010-04-10T20:25:00.003+08:00

How I wish.... I'm included in "___ __ ___". Really..

Had a very great day with my good friend Miaomiao ^^
She's really crazy nowadays.. Pervertic, stalker, and insanely mad!! Seriously. HAHAHA

(her blog for words HAHA)

I had a very terrible time uploading all the pictures on facebook!!! I think I spent about 2+ hrs.
Still have to send that asshole her secret pictures.. LOL. Hehehe.

Okay the rest on facebook!! I will die if I continue uploading moreeee photos..

Wondering what I should do today. Study? Seriously.. Nah. I'd rather lie on my bed.. And fall asleep!!!
Shiok. Or even cook something for myself.. Or eat my mochi and relax.. Wahh life shld be like that.

I don't look forward to tomorrow lor.. Hais.
Should I go to speech day?!?! I want to go!! Because there will be some sad scenes.
I think?! LOL.. Cos we have to sing the song smth smth believe. The song is saddy :(

Ahhhhh shit. I have tuition on that day.. So I'll be like smelly and stinky. hmmm

I'd want to leave this school happily, with no enemies. Really..
I've already thought of what I'm going to do during the graduation ceremony!!
1) Walk over to whoever, shake hands and smile.
2) Hug, and apologise for what ever shit I've caused.
3) Tadaaa, friends :D:D:D hehehehe~

But I'm not sure if I have the courage :(

When your heart is full of hatred, it's like it cant function well anymore..

Eh walao Miao!! I wanted to change my background colour to pink also!!
But they keep come out white!! Nbcb later you say I copy you..
Now cannot change liao.. Hais. No pictures for you!!! :P

U are the thunder & I am the lightning

2010-04-10T12:45:00.002+08:00

Feeling very very bored and dead right now.. "Lots of things going on in my mind"~ (hahaha so typical!!)

Supposed to finish my chinese homework today. But seriously, the word CHINESE pisses me off very much.
Sooo many reasons for me to get pissed off. I don't know why there must always be doggies in the world.
How I wish Miaomiao can come over earlier to keep me occupied.. Why choose 2 pm you asshole girl :(
I want to continue reading my book.. But I have to finish my chinese hw first.. You know, the tool.. HAHA.

I want to see food... Subway, macdonalds, kfc hmmm prawns!! Cheese fries.. But all I can see is fats and still fats.
I want to play online games.. But I don't know what kind of games can I play, and where I can find them!! :(

ARGH. Sucky Saturday morning~

It's not easy to do something you don't want to.

2010-04-09T20:01:00.004+08:00

Darling asked me to blog about my happiness... Heehee!
Okay lah I've been quite happy during the past few days. Everything's going well except
for the situation in my family. It really sucks when it comes to night time. I'll be hiding in
my room the whole night because I do not want to face any of my family members. So basically
I do not talk at home. Mute. Haha! But nevermind, at least I'm able to do things in
peace without any scoldings or anything. Because nobody really cares now, since the bloody quarrel.

ANYWAY.. Have been having fun with my Darling in school or after school. Even though sometimes
either of us still have moodswings. Haha! But it's still very enjoyable pinching and slapping
his face..Heehee! He has a veryyyyyy smooth and perfect face. Really, try touching it okay? Lol!
And.. Not forgetting my Miaomiao! Our friendship have improved a lot lately. Eversince last year's
year end holiday. Hee, we still cannot be separated hor Miao? :P And she's got a secret lately!
I thought I was the only one who knows the secret.. But most of her friends already know abt it!!
Damn sad lor.. Hehehehe kidding. Love my miaomiao lah even though she's soooo pervertic :P

Soooo overall my life is going on quite smoothly.. :)
Ooooh I had a short convo with Mdm Rozi & Miss Ayesha this afternoon. Mdm Rozi asked about
my weird and funny E maths. Haha! And about how I study maths(wth) and errr how come my emaths
is like that when my A maths is like that. And also what I don't understand. Ohh but I managed to
tell her that I dislike HANDS-ON work!!! Yay man. I prefer drills and practice lor..

Okay then Ms Ayesha was talking to me abt the.. Genogram thingy. I like 2 sentences of hers.
1) Anyone bully you? Confirm no laa ur boyfriend will take care!
2) BGR... Yes. Who doesn't know?}

HAHAHAHA. She actually made me happy for awhile.

I bought Nutella, Marshmallow(HEHEHEHE IRENE IRENE :P:P:P) and Mochi just now!!!!

=D
I feel like eating bedok 85's peanut tangyuan!!!! Shit.

LOL.. Random pictures ahead!!!

The world is pretentious

2010-04-06T19:53:00.006+08:00

We're all selfish, we are disappointments, we are competitive, we just want to be who we are, do what we like, say what we want because "FREEDOM OF SPEECH", we never consider the feelings of others, we say we love, but do we really love? Do we really know the meaning of love?

Really.. I am hating what is happening around me right now. I don't hate life, because my life is awesome. I need not worry about where my next meal comes from, I need not worry about not being educated, not being naked, need not worry about now having a comfortable bed to sleep on. But. Human beings. They're all scary, and they might just kill you any moment, because they're humans.

Energy drained up by school and home. Parents are quarrelling, school work is stressing me. SA1 is approaching. I know where I stand. I know my weaknesses.. But I don't know what to do.

2010-04-02T20:35:00.003+08:00

Yayyyyyyy. I am a happy girl again :D

Good friend Miaomiao stayed over at my house on Wednesday! She tried to fool me with an April fool joke around 12.05 am. LOL!
It's so bloody obvious lor?! I am not that stupid okay Miss Kam =P Hehehehe we laughed like crazy before sleeping. I love Miaomiao! (EEK HAHAHA)

Ooooh and the test ytd. Dammmmmn miracle. I couldnt finish the test because I didn't finish. BUT, guess what! I wasn't upset or what! Not even a single bit!! :D:D

Had 3 talks with different groups of people ytd!
First, @ the library with Juexin & Natalie.. Gossip gossip. HAHAHA. Then with Jolene & Irene @ Irene's house. 3rd, with Kelvin Poon and Irene when
we went to jog(!!!!) at night! I don't feel skinny leh!!! LOL. After jogging, met Darling so I didnt have to go home alone.. Heehee reached home around 12 :D

OHHH AND I LOVE TODAY!!
Met Darling and we went to have macdonalds!! I tried mc spicy, and totally regretted!!! I still prefer my fishy fillet o fish.. Hehehe!
Errrrm then we headed to tuition.. Okay sucks, I am soo dumb and retarded and stupid T.T I am soo going to flunk my CA this monday :(
THEN HOR, we walked to this coffeeshop to shh shh! Hehehe then bus back to tamp. *hug hug* ^^ hee. Popular > buy soya bean > homey~

*HUG HUG*
:D:D:D:D:D LOVE YOU OKAY MR BOYFRIEND? NO MORE U KNOW WHAT OK.. :( SEE YOU TMR!!

2010-03-31T08:28:00.002+08:00

At the computer lab now..
Juexin Loo beside me.
Me feeling very upset.

:(

Nobody understands me..
Nobody.. Hais hais ~

A scar is a pain, etched forever.

2010-03-28T19:22:00.004+08:00

I had a very wonderful Saturday with my boyfriend and my family.
Shall elaborate everything since I'll want to remember a day like that :)

Met darling at tamp, and there were people giving out free drinks! We had 4 "tickets" but the queue was damn
long we didnt managed to get the free drinks :( We bumped into Jingheng there. Haha!

We went to pasir ris and took the wrong bus to downtown! All because of Darling. But we have bus concessions! So it's okay. Heh. Bought the tickets and went to have lunch at MR CHICKEN RICE. I can find cheaper chicken rice with similar taste at bedok inter! But it was delicious anyway. Bought popcorn & drinks for the movie afterthat. Hee we only managed to finish half of the popcorns. Headed to NTUC to buy some instant food so we can cook it during the weekdays. Went to bbq chicken to eat dinner, I'm always eating whenever I'm with him. Fats.. The food there is nice too! Hehehehe, we sat on pink sofas. Aww. Went to the beach after dinner :D:D:D Headed to my cousin's chalet afterwards. Had a great time finding the place!!

Here comes the best part ;D

I went into the room, while Darling went off. So I was feeling very bored. Called up darling and we went to Mccafe(SP?!) to chill.
Mum called, and she finally said the golden sentence!!

She asked Darling to join us!! Muahahaha. But I had to pull the King till I was very exhausted before I managed to get him in the room! Silly boy. Saw OLL that bad guy there. Lol. Sooo now most of my relatives knows my boyfriend!! Yay. My dad didn't say anything too, he was quite happy I think. Soo the 2 of us spend our night seeing the adults play mahjong, and playing blackjack in the later part.

Mum gave me $10 to gamble and I have $17 at the end of the day. So I won $7 ^^ Darling left first around 3+ Poor darling, he had to walk home himself!! My heartless parents.. :( Okay I stoned there after darling left.. Reached home around 4.30, bathed, and slept immediately! Mad tired.

I had a very very awesome time with my dearest boyfriend :D

2010-03-28T18:50:00.002+08:00

Oh my goodness... I have been sneezing non-stop the whole day. Not joking.. I feel god damn awful right now. I feel like eating peanut tangyuan!! And mac! I am pespiring like mad because I've been sneezing.. Seriously.. Very very wonderful flu.

Sport's Day :D

There's still a lot of photos, but I'm wayyy to sick to carry on uploading. The computer screen is making me really giddy and I feel like vomitting already! Okay bye!

to feel that life is wonderful

2010-03-21T20:43:00.004+08:00

(LOL, this photo was taken deliberately. Heehee cos we took smth like this on 23rd October last year! We went to the same place again~ I really enjoy my time with this guy here, he makes me feel loved, he dote on me, he makes me happy, very. Even though there are times when our thinking doesn't match, I believe that can be solved. He might not be my last because he's my first, but I still hope that we will be together for as long as we want.)

I might not be the prettiest, I might not have the best features, best figure. But I believe that by letting go of certain things in my heart would make me a better person. I am finally, willing to let go this hatred and jealousy towards someone, and make my life much more easier. It makes me feel lighter, and happier :)

She's prettier than me, she's got sexier and slimmer legs, she's got much more friends that I have. She's so so so much better than me. Even though I've been told many times that she's got many haters, but honestly I don't believe it. I mean, she's a good girl, why on earth would she have more haters than me? I shld be the one having haters, I am the bitch here. But whatever it is, I still hope for a day I can be friends with her, really. I've always wanted to befriend her, but... Yup :)

Wow, I feel very... Awesome right now. Haha! I'm smiling to myself! Hmm can't wait for school tmr! To be exact, can't wait to show off my new bag. Lol! I like my new bag, so really really I shall be brave and accept whatever comments people have for me. Because I don't care, as long as I like it! Heehee! Omgggg seriously I feel very light and and happy and wonderful and amazing and relieved and relaxed now! Oh no wait! I've yet to study for my history test! Ah tensed up again?! Nah, relax Weiting! Hehehehe gonna tell mr mah how happy I am right now ;)

See everyone tomorrow in school!

2010-03-21T20:23:00.004+08:00

I am back, happily^^
Have been laughing and smiling for the past.. 3 days. Thursday~ Had tuition with darling.
Irene miaomiao came over to my place that day too. To entertain me and be my doggy.. Heehee! Kidding.

CUTE HOR MR MAH?!?! :(

Then friday~ Went to marina square with darling! I bought my school bag.. Hee. I told myself that I
must accept whatever comments people have on my bag, so, go on and comment okay?! And and
and dinner @ roxy square with his parents, 2nd brother and Xiuyi. Hee, very happy that day.

Saturday~ Went to hougang plaza's kbox to sing with my family + relatives. Hee was
reluctant to go in the first place because I am wayyyy to shy to sing, but I enjoyed
still. The room was damn big! There was PS3 and Pool table for us to use~

:)

2010-03-17T18:29:00.014+08:00

I am the worst friend one can ever have.

I am ugly, I don't follow the trend, I'm out of fashion, I take things for granted. I don't treat my friends that good, I only hang out with my boyfriend and neglect all my friends, I have a sucky attitude and temper, I am self-centred, selfish, I am very anti-social, I am not friendly, I am sensitive, I am unreasonable, I am not photogenic so I don't really like to take photos, I am not fun, neither am I outgoing. I am boring, I give the lousiest advice, I am a bad listener. I am emotional and I cry very easily. I don't smile, I don't laugh, I am quiet. I have bad taste, I am not rich, I am not cheerful and chirpy. I do not have the freedom many sixteen years old have, I don't have the best photography skills. I am not talent, I do not have a cca, I do not do well for my studies, I am fat, I am unhealthy. I do not listen to the best songs, the most trendy songs, I do not watch the latest movie. I do not watch tv shows that majority of the people watch(channel 8, 5, U). I only tune in to channel 55. I don't know the latest news, I am outdated, I don't know anything about Jack Neo's scandal, except that he had sex with many girls. And his wife is called Irene. That's all I know about the hottest new right now. There aren't many topics you can talk to me about, again, I am boring and dull. I am not optimistic. I am dependent, very. I am very useless. It would kill me to be alone, I rely on people a lot, a lot. I do not have a tumblr account, I do not have many followers on twitter, I am not a single bit popular. I do not have more than 300friends in facebook, I do not do things like socialising because I am anti-social. I suck balls, I am proud, arrogant, irritating whatever, I have the lowest self esteem.

Worst of all, I am sick and tired of maintaining friendships, sick and tired of making new friends.
Sick and tired of the word friendship. That is why I am always always feeling lonely.

Like a body without soul

2010-03-15T21:06:00.007+08:00

I think I screwed up today's oral. Bcos I didnt state my stand clearly.
My first sentence was, "我认为这个现象。。。。 ERRR, ERRR...." Okay shit!!

Miaomiao was waiting for me at the bbt shop after my oral, with a dollar in hand, intending to
give it to me so I can buy myself a cup of peach red tea bcos she was afraid I'll be upset if I
screwed my oral up, how sweet.. AWWW HAHA :P Nah, she's not that good hehehehe! Kidding~

Eh... Mr Cutie's place > Kite flying with Juexin, Irene & Jolene Brother(lol!).
Heehee ~ > Mr Cutie's place > S-11 to buy dinner > Home sweet home ~ =D

I'm very bored now.. Still have to attend school tmr. Tuesdays are ALWAYS longgggg.
See ah, weekdays: School till 3.45 (already feeling very sticky and tired!!). After school, maths tuition.
Either 4 to 6, or 4 to 7. After tuition, chiong dinner somewhere or at home, then do homework, sleep.
Wahhh totally no time to stop and think about rubbish. Hate itttt.

oOoohH and tomorrow, even though it's the holidays, it is still veryyy baaad.
9-11 A maths rememdial, 1-2.30 chemistry remedial (ok shit I have no idea where I can
spend my time at from 11 to 1. Shit!!) 4 to 6, maths tuition. Hehehe actually not as
bad as I expected. Wheeee lol this is totally random. Yawns I want to sleep!! :(

How do you make someone trust you? When you don't lie, and when you don't do backstab.

Nothing feels like home

2010-03-13T20:49:00.014+08:00

Some overdued pictures!

AND FOR TODAY.. HEHEHEHE REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF :)
Met Mr Cutie for lunch, was very looking forward to seeing him. So I kind of "jumped"
when I saw him. Haha! And.. It was my first time hearing him say he's full :(
Quite guilty for it lah. Hahahaha but nevermind, everything is fine right now!

Went up to his place to STUDY. Ya right, sleep and watch movie.
Hehehehe then his mum suddenly shouted, "Klinsmann ah! I treat you eat sushi want?!"
And hehehehe I followed as well. Went to ramen ten to eat. His father's treat. So shy so shy ;P

Ok lazy to elaborate but I was very happy..

Mr Cutie kept laughing like crazy purposely. Even in the lift. Damn embarrassing lor :@

AND I said "花生的$5" when it's supposed to be "花生的$2.50"
OKAY this only we will understand.. I dont know how to exprain~

OOOH AND AND, "Ehh maybelline(sp) got sell newspaper or not?"
LOL! Supposed to be, "Guardian got sell newspaper or not?" :(

Still got a lot a lot!! Mr Cutie never fails to make me laugh. He's toooo RETARDED.
Ended the day with a "Thank you uncle aunty, byebye!!" by mee! HEHEHEHE :* :*

Definitely a day to remember ;)

Btw, Justin Bieber is veryyyy adorable. HAHAHAHA I knew about his existence
yesterday. ONLY! Slow and laggy I know! His songs are nice too weeee~

2010-03-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

Hate 2day. Cried during recess for a very very stupid reason. Lol!
Not really cried lah. Seriously I realised that I can tear VERY VERY easily.
It's like, I'm always ever ready to tear. Hate this! LIKE... Doesn't mean
that I'm really SAD when I cry, it's just, natural reaction! Since young! :(

OH AND. Mr cutie was attempting to molest me(LOL!), so I struggled
and I fell down.. There's a red patch on my knee now. NBCB :@

Just kidding abt the NBCB part. HAHAHA, glad it's not that painful..
OKAY~ Very stress right now about SOME things, shall not think too much!

2 more days to HOLIDAY!!! Ya right, holiday. BYEEE

when you're part of my life

2010-03-07T18:17:00.004+08:00

DDD - Double Date Day

:O Heeheehee.

Mr Cutie accompanied me to Kovan yesterday morning *tired*
Had Mac for breakfast. No wonder I feel damn bloody fat today.
I gained weight! Or rather, gained fats!! Omfg need to cut down on food!
Okay I always say that, but in the end I still stuff myself with food.

:@

Me and Mr Cutie went to shit, yes at the same time, after Mother Jing and his
wife arrived at ehub's 4th storey yesterday. Must be the breakfast! Grr.

Pastamania for lunch, wrong choice okay Mother Jing? :(

We caught Dear John after lunch. Very upset.. Because my bladder was giving
me problems again. Me and Mr Cutie went to the toilet twice, how embarassing!

Throughout the movie I was busy controlling my bladder instead of focusing on
the movie.. Damn urgent!! :( Weiling and Jingheng was doing hanky panky the whole
time. HAHA, and Weiling cried! I did too, but it was towards the end of the movie,
when I could finally concentrate on the movie. I think I would have cried too if
weren't for my bladder. Grr, Mr Cutie went to the toilet around.. 6 times ytd.

Toilet King and Toilet Queen? LOL. Heehee, guessed it's the chocolate milk tea
we drank before meeting the 2 of them. Classic.. Urine and shit at the same time :(

Went to this G place, Gelare I think? Bcos the couple wanted to have ice cream. They
didn't share with us.. Sighs. Took photos there, and left around 6 cos Weiling had to
celebrate her grandfather's birthday. Jingheng wasn't invited HAHAHAHA :P

They went back to tampines while me and Mr Cutie walked to whitesands for dinner.

Went home after dinner :* :*

Pictures! :D
I have a few more pictures taken at the bus stop.. Upload them another day~

The last time I wore this shirt was 23rd October 2009, when I went out with Mr Mah^^
LOOK AT MY ARMS. DOUBLE TONED. WTF DAMN BLOODY SAD. ALL THX TO THE BINTAN CAMP :@

Anyway, I asked Weiling if I could upload unglam pictures of her boyfriend.
& her reply was, "OF COURSE OF COURSE UPLOAD EVERYTHING ALSO CAN HAHA" LOL

Weiling & Jingheng, grab your hanky panky pictures =P

Understand

2010-03-05T19:06:00.004+08:00

Appeared at Mr Cutie's house this morning and he was shocked! Heehee.
His mummy was at home as well so I was kind of shyyy when I passed him the cakes.
His mum was like, "What did you buy for Klinsmann?" Lol. So I replied, cakes..
HAHA. Then we ate the cake infront of her! Like wahhhhh sooo the very shy.

In school.....

Waited patiently for every lesson to end.. Seriously, I was just hoping
for lessons to end the whole day. But thank god I was being entertained by
some fxxking(LOL) cute expressions by Mr Cutie. Trust me, HE IS BLOODY ADORABLE.

Anyway, gotten back our CA1 results. Shocking results I should say. HAHA.

I find it VERY funny when teachers ask me if I'm facing any emotional problems because I did extremely bad for my tests. Or when I deproved.

For example, Miss Ang had a talk with me a few weeks ago bcos of my chem test(I think.)
She was worried that I'll end up like blah because of blah. I admit I was very
guilty about it when she was talking to me, but hahaha I don't feel a thing now.

And today, Mdm Rozi asked me if I was having any problems.. Why? Bcos I did very very
badly for my e maths test. U know, the test on SD and Trigo. 4 out of 25. LOL
So my overall marks 4 e maths : 20/100 (F9). This shld be the first F9 appearing in my report book. Lol.

Not really satisfied for my CA1 results, but at least I am not sad over it. Hee~

Chinese 64(B4)
English 64(B4)
Physics 63(B4)
Chemistry 63(b4)

LOOK AT THE PATTERN!!

Combined Humans 60(B4)
E Maths 20(F9)
A Maths 83(A1)

L1R4 SEVENTEEN 17 GRRR SO LOUSY.
But nevermind, it's just a CA. Hehehehe gogogogo.

Oh btw! Me and Mr Cutie missed our stop when we're on our way 4 tuition.
Because we were sleeping! LOL. When I woke up, I was like, "EH?! 过头了过头了!!"

Can't wait for tomorrow bcos I'll be going out with Mr Cutie.
Veryyyyy long since the both of us went out alone.. I think? Heehee.
ANYWAY, I am tooo clever. I found out about the plan, again!! :P

I love myself :)

Miracles do happen

2010-03-04T20:47:00.008+08:00

Love how my table looks like now, with so many photos of Mr Mah's cutie face.
Seriously I really must admit that he is soooo damn blooooody cute. Not joking!

Okay now the photos last weekend :)
Only selected some bcos there are toooo many photos. Plus some are useless too!
All bcos Ms Kam takes stupid photos. Grrr.. Muahahahaha~

ERRRR OK I THINK THERE ARE STILL TOOO MANY PHOTOS.
I LOVE THEM TOO MUCH AND IT MAINLY COMPRISES OF ME.. HEH!
SORRY FOR THE SELF LOVE, PLS 4GIVE ME :(

On the way to IKEA & at IKEA

@ Bedok/Zx's housie

Love those who doesn't deserve your love

2010-03-04T17:46:00.003+08:00

Anyway... I mentioned that I looked fat and bloated on Monday.
But today I realise I look fat & bloated every single day.. Sighs.
I wished my size can go back to 2009 year end holidays because that's when
I find myself quite skinny everyday. Lol. Or maybe this year's reunion dinner..

:(

Had lunch today at mac with Mr mah and Simin Wenqi.
Bumped into Mother Jing and his girlfriend there, but they were tooo
afraid of me so they hopped over to kfc. Heehee. Kiss kiss LOL

I went home alone afterthat. Sad.. Heh.
Reached home ard 3, and mum was like, ":O so early?!"
Intended to finish ALL my homework, but hahahaha fail as always.
At least I completed my history essay. In 1 hour's time. Lol.

Okay I'm going out for dinner now.. :(

When everything doesn't seem right

2010-03-01T19:32:00.006+08:00

It's a new month!

AND

My life's pretty screwed up right now, ha. Basically.. Academic & friendship wise.
Not surprising. I pretty much screw up every single thing in my life, lol. I always end up being the bad girl too.
But I'm still and will always be a happy girl in school, that's something gr8 I supposed? Haha.

No wait.. My family's kind of "broken" right now. I don't hear any voices when I'm at home.
Everybody's doing their own stuffs, nobody talk to anybody. Which can be really bad.
Especially when being at home is the only place for me to feel peace, the only place to calm down and relax..

So, everything's not on the right track now. Hahahaha.
Even my studies. Doing really really badly for my sciences, chinese and e maths.

But.. On a happier note, I scored full marks for my a maths quiz ;)
And, I had a very nice weekend even though I ate like crazy for both days.
That explains why I look soooo fat and bloated in school today. Ok I always do!!

Anyway...
I wrote a really really lengthy letter for this friend of mine,
but decided not to hand it to her because.. I guess there isn't a need to? Hm.

I have enough of dealing with and not to even mention, solving friendship problems.
Enough of people who insist of making things worst(not referring to anybody tq) when it's just a very trivial matter.
Enough of having friends around me that are ridiculously sensitive.

I'm going to tell myself everyday that it's not a big deal to be alone.

P.S Pictures another day! ^^

Unwillingness

2010-02-26T21:47:00.006+08:00

Had a very shiok bathe after a very loooong day.Ahaha. School ended at 1 plus, tuition till 5 plus, darling's parents came to fetch
us to school and we were late! But the talk started late too.Hm, shld've listened to what mr mah said,this kind of thing must slowly slowly.
Grr, the talk ended around 7 I could've died if it were to delay any further..Same old boring speech.

Slack around in sch afterthat,then went to eat at my house coffeeshop with big mr mah, small mr
mah and mrs mah. Lol,don't like the atmosphere bcos small mr mah was forced to do something.Hais.

ok,mum is sick..Can't decide whether I shld go tmr. I want to eat:(
Anyway,I'm supposed to finish ALL my homework tonight but I got distracted by the tv.. So..Grr.
I've not watched tv since monday!! Omg sad life much? Ok I did,but everyday less than an hour.Sad ah seriously.

~ I received my first praise from a teacher ytd, & my second praise from another teacher today.

Committed shit

2010-02-25T18:25:00.005+08:00

I can't stand photobucket! My photos always "disappear" which really sucks.
Soooo I shall use tinypic instead since the name sounds cuter plus it shld be much better than noobie photobucket,yes?

Alone at home now..Sad,not! Love being alone at home because there isn't anybody to nag at me.Peaceful..Hahaha.
The bad thing is there won't be dinner. Gah,brother brother where are you? :(

Yay, I have my first ring with mr mah now.Hm.. Sad to say it isn't awwsomely pretty, but it's not the beauty that counts.
It's the story behind it that matters.Cheh? Ha. Anyway,was @ the bbt shop with Axl, Kaikai, Irene and Xiaopang after school.
Well.. *feeling guilty*It's been some time since I hang out 2gether with them.Hee. And yup,they still manage to bring me joy. Aha!
Went to find mr mah afterthat to have some hanky panky,lol! Just kidding.And that's when he finally gave me my ring.That bitch refuses to give it to me in the morning:(

Ohh and I found out abt the surprise he have been planning.Darling u suck at giving me surprises ok?Love you.. ;p

Anyway.Looking forward to this weekend bcos on saturday, I MIGHT be going out with mr mah and his friends to celebrate this guy's birthday.
Ok my main motive is to eat, so u will still see an anti social me. Hee. Then sunday,MIGHT be going to my primary school's friend housewarming thingy.
Irene want go or not? I want leh,got buffet.. Hehehe~

Let me ask you a question,do u see food? Bcos I do!!

The course of true love never did run smooth.

2010-02-21T17:21:00.004+08:00

My life is awesome. Just like a roller coaster ride.
One moment I'm crying like crazy,
the other, I'm smiling crazily.

:@

(best part of the dayyyy)
Bf left porridge & herbal tea outside my house ^^
He came up for awhile again to shower me with love... ;p

Heh. He just left the house. So... kinda bored. Nothing to do~
To be honest!!! I'm still in my holiday mood. Seriously -.-
After uh... 1 months and 21 days of school. Can you imagine?!?!
I still can't bring myself to study and I must admit this really sucks.

(I hate to lose. So... yup, really hate this)

I'm no longer as hardworking as compared to last year.
And tadah, a pathetic 25 out of 40 for my chemistry test.
OK I KNOW, THE TEST IS LIKE WEEKS AGO & I AM STILL,
YES, STILL.. BROODING OVER IT, SERIOUSLY HELLO~?!

It's a very BIG blow to me, and I am still very upset + angry + irritated when I think abt it.

Argh. Whatever. I still have homework to do..
So, I shall go into my room to mess with my ITOUCH! Heh.

2010-02-20T17:46:00.003+08:00

Grrr. 生了三天的病，希望明天就会完全康复！！
Hee, darling came to give me one bottle of herbal tea(brewed by his mama:P)
and tutu kueh. Lol! People having cough still give me tutu kueh. Act cute.
Going to have fillet o fish for dinner. Mama say can. Hehehe~
好命 sia, sick still can eat this kind of food =D

Hate myself for being sick!! Was supposed to watch Valentine's Day
with darling on friday. But end up I spend my whole day sleeping at his
place.. Too sick to go anywhere :(

YAY MY FISHY ARRIVED ^^

ME: *holding up my herbal tea* Ma，你猜谁拿来给我 de~!"
MAMA: Klinsmann lah..

=)

I don't like to drink herbal tea.. :(

Chinese new year's photos~

I always thought things will be ok

2010-02-13T23:16:00.005+08:00

Wooo just came home feeling very fucked up lol.Have been sneezing
ever since I woke up,which is around 9. So I've been sneezing 4 15 hours -.-
Am still sneezing btw. anyway, had my reunion dinner at this restaurant
@ suntec and the food tasted horrible, really. $1070 for 10 people which
I think is wayyy too much.unless the food was DELICIOUS but sadly it wasn't.

hahaha feeling skinny and pretty just now. But now i feel damn fat.
I don't feel full @ ALL even though my stomach is very huge right now..
Nvm, at least I won't gain weight,I think? Lol. Nvm!!!

LASTLY, HAPPY NEW YEAR =DDD
& Happy Valentine's Day, darling ILY although..
=( But I believe we'll be okay very soon, right? :-*

U dont need a reason to love someone

2010-02-13T15:15:00.009+08:00

A very x100 hectic week just past, and I cried for 2 times :(
One for my chemistry test, the other bcos of what miss ang told me.
And what she said really affected me a lot,till today I'm still thinking
abt it.Which really reminded me that I still can't trust anybody including myself.
I was sooo close to being able to trust, and... okay, no more brooding over it.

doing the same thing every single day. Meet bf in the morning, go to school
and wait for time 2 past, meet bf after sch, reach home everyday around 7 or later,
eat dinner, chiong hw, sleep. Very boring life. Except wed bcos was at AHS.
Shall not talk much abt the match. & now I know my cousin has a girlfriend. HAHA
okay shh. It's chinese new year tmr, but I don't look forward to it. Boo.

Am still finding a way 2 have a higher self esteem. :(
I wonder why all the girls ard me have so much confidence in themselves.
What about me? I want to love myself without being criticised~

Somebody left a comment abt my eyebrow, & I was pretty upset abt it
so I went for a trim. Bf accompanied me, thank u so much for always
being by my side. I must admit I was really really down that day.
But I'm alright now bcos I don't have to be afraid that some1 will
say about my eyebrow again.okie but still scared they have smth to say
about the other parts of my face/body :(

Best thing one can ever ask for

2010-02-06T22:05:00.001+08:00

Moi bf & moi mum is sho adorable.

HE called me when I was talking to my HER.
The first thing HE shouted when I picked up the phone was BAO BEI.
Walao I laughed. Then HE continued with HIS rubbish while I walked ard the house.

When I was in my room, our call ended, then HE msged me telling me there's no signal.
So I went out and talked to my HER again, and HE called again!!

HE said more nonsense, then suddenly,
"Tell your mama klinsmann miss you a lot."
So I did, then SHE laughed out loud and exclaimed,
"COME LAH" Wtf? Come lah!? LOL!

OK I LAUGHED AGAIN. SHOOOOO CUTIE PIE CAN?!
Why they more adorable than me!? I thought I the most adorable lerx.. :(

LOL~

I promise not to get upset if my chemistry test is below 30.
I promise to study harder next time if I score 30 and above.
I promise not to be upset if I ain't the best this time.
I promise not to drop a single tear for my chemistry test.

Sighs, worry worry worry.

Love is friendship that catches fire

2010-02-06T19:18:00.005+08:00

I am shoooo laughing my ass out bcos you are shooo funny :(

Just got back from tuition & pasir ris. H8 saturdays!! I'm wasting them!!
But glad I slept till ard 11 am even though I was still quite reluctant to wake up :(
Tuition on ReDoXxX ReAcTiOONn today, lucky I still lurb chemistry so much!!
Hehex I didn't get to see muai darlingy boy boy today :( He went shopping!!!

Might be meeting him tmrx to go shopping together. Hehehehx
bo bian, must settle my new year clothings rait?? :@

Today my tutor asked me whether I play taptap, I replied No.
But the very next moment, I realise I actually have the game. WTF?
So I went to play taptap while on the bus to pasir ris, ok lah not bad. LOL

Facebook is not working when I have to mood to log in.Haizxxx
ok bye I go eat my hor fun hor & play my itouch liao muacks

2010-02-06T11:14:00.003+08:00

Random....

THIS GIRL IS RETARDED =.=

Girl: WeiTing how come online ?
Girl: o.o
(imba weiting): lol why cannot wor?
Girl: i tout you @ pe camp
(imba weiting): wrong weiting?
(imba weiting): lol
Girl: lols , obviously , you are not Weiting
(imba weiting): =.=
(imba weiting): im from evss =.=

WTF.

Early in the morning pissing me off when I'm already not in a good mood.
Grrr, "can't wait" to go for tuition later. Hate to have tuition on Saturdays.

I AM HAVING
HAPPY CONVERSATION
WITH MY DARLING ON MSN ;D

while waiting for my mother to reach home -.-

He is going to cut his hair very soon,
and I AM SO GOING TO LOVE IT ^^

(sometimes I really wished I was prettier)

2010-02-02T17:46:00.005+08:00

WALAO SO SIAN. FAIL THE CA WILL DROP TO COMBINE.
Cannot, die also must pass. At least B3. :@

Cyber bullies alert!!
[content removed cos I am a good girl]
Okay lah, dont want to be so SELFISH and CHILDISH liao..
Later I kena bully again. I cannot take anymore blowsxx worx.
I will rmbr my retribution, that is being cyber bullied by cyberbullies.
I am sho sad lorx. No one ever treated me this way.. Boohoohoo :(
-Sobbing in progress, do not disturb before I sob you away!!-

HAHAHAHAHA.

2010-01-31T10:26:00.004+08:00

MY

just made breakfast for me and my brother. It's been
years since she did that, I think? HAHA. Peanut butter
with bread and a cup of hot milo. Sweet or sweet?!

世上只有妈妈好，有妈的孩子像个宝~
(er, I dont know if the lyrics is correct BUT,
I'm just trying to say mums are the best women on earth!!)

My mum knows I have a boyfriend and she allows it.

Mum: You what time go pa tor?
Me: Not pa tor lah! Tak chek(sp) [study]
Mum: Really study meh! Go where study?
Me: His house lor..
Mum: Why must go his house?!
Me: Then ask him come my house meh?!?!
Mum: -silence-

...... Lol.

Going to darling's house soon!
Must bring stones over to his house :(
So many books! Grr grr nvm I got my itouch hehehe~

Have a nice day :D

2010-01-30T20:55:00.000+08:00

How I mean every word I say

Aloha moshi moshi hello ni hao ok that's all I know :O

Like wordy post ahead only leh!!

TUITION SUCKED VERY BADLY TODAY. BUT I WONT GET AFFECTED (Y)

Just reached home after having a nice evening with my dearest Darling. Kekekex
I feel so brave after buying my mc flurry or is it flury? Just now after tuition.
Brave because I was alone. Seriously, I was alone & I went to mac's counter
to buy mc flurry/flury. ALONE HELLO? Wateva just praise me la!!! Grrr :@

Waited for 2 bloody hours and he finally came. Wtf right?
Okay kidding!! It was only about 5 minutes. HeeheeXXXXX lol.

Tm to buy my father's PANTS lol. Walao he sooo cute. I mean darling.
Why euu sho kiutx ah seriously? Why you tell me? Stop it hor I jealous alr.
Went to sunplaza to eat zi char after buying the pantsy. His treat worx.. :P
Heh, love eating dinner with him. Feel very different. Pepsiiii ftw? No.. COKE FTW :@

Walked home afterthat. I realised that we've been walking home all the time!!
Either walk or bicycle. Like never take bus de worx!!! WALAO I JUST
NOTICED IT ONLY. Hm.. Okay not important. Oooh I learnt smth new today. I love
walking home with him!! Because we'll chat about a lot of stuffs like our past etc etc ;D

OKAY THEN. Continued our chat by the swimming pool.. Hehehehe.
Then afterthat go home lah!!! & then I am typing these.

29 January

Went shopping with B~ Hehehehe. Very long nvr go "pa tor" with him liao. LOL
Okay very pathetic lor.. After walking for like 5 hours, both of us only bought 1 item.
Next week have to go clothes hunting again, if not CNY nothing to wear!!!
Last minute shopping still the best. I love last minute shopping. Haha!

Went to find his momma around 7+? Wait for his papa, then we went to...
Ok I think balestier market to eat dinner.. Walk walk awhile then they fetch me home~
Darling went to chalet after sending me home. I am a super good girlfriend
because I wake up almost every hour when he msg me. To accompany him ^^
You know or not?!?!?! 12+ 1+ 2+ 3+ 4+ K then I slept from 5+ to 9+. Hehehehex

TADA, END OF MY WORDY AND BORING BLOGPOST :(

I am supposed to sleep at 9.30 but it's alr 9.22 okay sorry B.
I took only 30 minutes to type all these ;DDDD

Okay byebye sayonana LOL
Sayonaraaaaa ;D

2010-01-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

I found a folder named as WEBCAMMMM!;D in my thumbdrive. LOL!

Weiting, have you forgotten what you promised yourself?
I'm sure you havent. So please, stop all your nonsense ok?!

Anyway, I'm SUPER sleepy right now. I need sleep seriously!
Omg. Ever since the start of school, I've been super tired.
Which of course, sucks lah, duh? Boohoo. Okay I shall sleep now.

Can't wait for tomorrow, & hopefully it will not be a sad day :)

2010-01-26T19:55:00.004+08:00

Monday, 25 January 2010.

"My unhappy incident"

My bestfriend snatched my boyfriend away.
I slapped my bestfriend, she cried.
We're not friends anymore.

LOL~

2010-01-24T20:40:00.000+08:00

I'm blogging I'm blogging! =D

Kekekeke wearing b's basketball pants & a very sexy top now. Totally dont fit.
But it reminds me of b. So I shall wear this to sleep! Very comfy too ^^

The weather today = mutha quacking hot :(
Hee, I didnt use vulgarity.Must cut down on vulgarity. Be a g00d girl.
I have been having a headache since afternoon!! :(

23rd January 2010

Went to B's place after tuition. Tuition ended on time ^^
Wasted a few hours there and my plan was not carried out accordingly!

Okay, here's my plan:

Reach b's place around 5.30
Pack his table till 6+, reach bedok 85 around 7.
Eat till 8+, reach home before 9.

BUT, everything was delayed because of him!
Heex, no lah. In the end we reached 85 around Eighty.
Ohh I bought my tutu kueh b4 that. So we missed the bus!! :(
Tutu kueh = my favourite food. Oh and and PRAWNS too. Hehehe.

So. Mama then called me & told me to reach home b4 10. Hehehe muack muacks.
Had a great dinner with darling. Idk why, but I felt very fortunate :)

After eating, walked around the area & took 168 home.

Bb~
I dont know what date is today! It's not really our 5th, bcos
we weren't together on 23/08. I just wanted it to be 08 bcos we can
reach our half year together :P It's also our so called 2nd anni. Hee.
I really cannot believe after one BIG ass round, we're together again,
after 2 whole years. Even though it was a tough road for me, I'm glad
to have you again & I'll never let you go so easily. I've said my piece
on the card I gave you (I feel damn satisfied hehehex), but still,
I want to tell you I love you. You know I do right?! A kiss for you :-*

=)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2010-01-24T20:15:00.004+08:00

Some of my favourite photos taken in Bintan ;D

2010-01-19T17:16:00.003+08:00

I LOVE ALL THE PHOTOS FROM BINTAN (FACEBOOK) :D

I HATE SCHOOL.
HATE TUESDAYS!!
HATE TO WAKE UP EARLY.

HATE EVERYTHING.
HATE HATE HATE.
BUT I LOVE MYSELF.

BECAUSE I NO LONGER GET ANGRY AT CERTAIN THINGS.
HEHEHEHE, THAT'S THE BEST THING EVER. MUACK MUACK.

bb i love you :*